I work with a number of different families throughout the week and each family has its own schedule, rules & ways of disciplining children.
It is awesome to see such a variety of families and the way they raise their children.
Watching these children, so many different techniques come up: time outs, supernanny tips, hand flicks, spanking.
One of my own observations is that each children responds in different ways to whatever form of discipline you are using. Just as each of them has different personalities, they each respond differently to the same form of punishment.
This can be a challenge when one form of punishment appears harsher than another,
but it works for one child and not the other.
I try to always make the punishments fair if they are needed when watching the kids.
But it is a challenge at times.
Consistency is such a huge factor when raising kids (or watching other people's).
They are always trying to figure out how much control they have over the decisions in their lives.
Usually not much. But they will test you to see how much control you will let them have.
Their behaviour is more challenging when their boundaries move
because they test their level of control.
The more tired I am when watching the kids, the more I struggle to be consistent with disciplining them. This of course means they might test me more. Not fun when tired =)
As I am not their parent, I may be more limited in the way I discipline them as I am only there to fill in while their parents are elsewhere.
But as I have worked with these families over time, I have noticed these general observations about all nine of the kids.
It has been such a blessing to see these different families doing life in their own unique way.
I have learned so many things about how to raise children before even having my own.
I am so thankful they trust me with their precious little ones. They truly are a blessing in my life.
The more time I spend with them, the more I see flaws in myself as well.
This past week little L tried to put on his favorite CD
while I was fixing the baby lunch in the kitchen.
He must have struggled to turn it on (although had done it before)
because he turned the volume up way too high.
When the music came on full blast...
he ran into another room at the back of the house sobbing.
After running into the living room and turning off the CD player,
I headed to the back of the house where he was shaking and sobbing really hard.
Whilst discipline may have been appropriate in this situation,
I felt compassion for this scared child (much the way the Lord does for us).
I scopped him up and held him, he then sobbed 'I'm sorry! I'm sorry!'
It reminded me of myself before the Lord when I am disobedient or get something wrong.
I cry out to Him telling Him how sorry I am
and how scared I am by the outcome of what I did.
So I continued to hold little L and console him much the way the Father would me.
'...Patiently correct,
rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching.'
{2 timothy 4:2}
We talked together about little L's behaviour (disobedience) but there was no punishment this time.
There is a time for grace,
even when the human side of me might want to punish because I am frustrated with him.
Most of the time their disobedience has nothing to do with what they are being asked to do (or what not to do). It is about them trying to figure out how much control they have in life.
Just like we do before the Lord and discover, we don't have much.
The more of my time and energy I devote to these little ones, the more they teach me about the Father and my own disobedience.
They show me my weaknesses & flaws, where I am inconsistent in my life.
The more I pour into them the more I learn how to die to self and serve these families well.
Even if my week is crazy busy full of activities with these precious little ones,
I am content.
'I Would like to be able to say that I always do exactly what the Lord asks of me.
I would like to say that I always seek Him first when a difficult situation presents itself.
While I am getting better at it, sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I still think what I do with my life should be my decision.
God asks, and reasons, and encourages.
He gently explains that I do not know what is best for me and that I do not always get what I want.
And I just look at Him, not understanding at all what He's trying to say.
Sometimes I even whine and sob and shriek, just like a tired, angry three-year-old...
...As I kick and scream and struggle, I remember: I like being in the center of God's will for my life.
God's plan is usually pretty great.
It is a whole lot better than mine anyway.
I am so glad that He does not allow me to win.'
{Kisses From Katie, Katie Davis, p.227}
Much Love,
L
