{On My heart} Mondays. [Part 6: I'm just Me.]

Driving around in my car this week, I heard the song 'Who Says' by our friend, Selena.

I've heard it SO many times before, perhaps overplayed for a little while in the summer there,

but the part that really struck me while driving was 

'I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me....'

I've been stuck in a rut this past week of comparing myself to others.
Feeling insignificant & unhappy about the way the Lord is using me in my life.

Why can't I be seriously involved in our church and making a difference right now? 

Why can't I be mentoring young girls, something so close to my heart? 

Why doesn't my blog reach thousands of women and encourage them towards Christ? 

Why don't I have a gift for writing or taking amazing pictures?

The answer He has been trying to tell me....

Because I am no-one else but Me. 

He has not called me to live anyone else's life. 

He has called me to live my own.

His purpose for me is not the same as any of the other people in my life.

My life is not about me, it is supposed to be about Him.

The Lord may never give me a flair for writing what is close and dear to my heart. 

He equips me to do the things which He wants me to do in this life.

I really need to stop worrying about how other people are living their lives, and 

focus on Him.

Easier said than done in a blog world focused on the number of followers you have, 

or even in the real world which puts those with power and talent 

high up on a scale of importance.

God Himself does not value what this world values.

I may never be an important person in the world's eyes.

But I do want to do what the Lord wants me to do.

The Lord has given me a heart for children. (Among many things)

I currently work with them, love them & learn SO much from them.

This passion has become more obvious in my life since finishing High School.

After Graduation, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life,
or even what the Lord was calling me to do with my life.
I was young, interested in so many different things &
the world seemed so big and exciting at the same time.

I took a gap year to serve at my church and figure out what God wanted of me.

I had a crazy year...at the end,
He opened doors to send me to India & the heart of Africa on mission trips.

As I walked through a market in the heart of Africa, I saw a whole variety of things strange to the world I had come from.
Yet, I felt a sense of home about the place.

From the chickens for sale in the marketplace to the butcher with its 'unsanitary' methods of harvesting meat. The place felt like home.

Remembering my long skirt around my heels and side bag lying against my side.

How I long to be back there.

To be back where I can work with the children that followed us, along the path to the village, out of curiosity for what we were doing.

The same children that did not speak our language, but understood a smile, a game of tag, hopscotch or even how to braid each other's hair.

Back to where a child was so tired, she fell asleep in my lap, feeling secure.

I ache to be back in these situations.

While I may not be the next Katie Davis, you should totally check her out here.

I understand what she means by her life's purpose being simple.

To love the least,
as we are commanded to do.

While the Lord has taken me through India, Asia, the Middle East & Africa to serve in this way....
He has currently called me to where I am.

This country.

This place.

This situation.
With the same command, to love the least.
To love those around me and continue to pour myself out for them on a daily basis.

Does this mean I have figured out what He wants me to do from now on?

Not yet. 

But I'm excited by the uncertainty, the expectation of all that is to come in life.
The hope that He might call me back with my own family to the heart of Africa.
Or wherever He wants to lead us.

As Elisabeth Elliott once said,

I'm excited with how the Lord plans on writing my story, with where He will take me.
What a wake-up call to stop comparing myself to anyone else and stop complaining about what He is currently withholding.
He has perfect plans for me, as He promises.

So as Selena continues in her song....

I wouldn't want to be anybody else.

Watch this video to feel challenged by your actions: