{On My Heart} Mondays. [Part 7: Sweet Friendships]

I have been blessed to meet some wonderful girls in my short lifetime.
Those with whom I have been able to share a hot cocoa, watch a girly movie, share our deepest desires, encourage each other & enjoy spending time together in general.
The older I get, the more I realise how rare & precious these friendships are.

We are so sinful, in general.
As girls, I've noticed how things can be overdramatized when it comes to relationships with each other. We are so fast to point out how a phone call got missed, an insensitive comment was made, or we felt betrayed.
Then we often shut down or withdraw, we try to punish them for hurting us.
Even when we try to forgive, we often find we hold on to those feelings of hurt or betrayal. We still remember things they said even after trying to 'resolve' the conflict.

Gone are the simple days when things were dramatic for about 5 minutes over sharing a toy, then we forgot about it and were best of friends again. How I long for those days.....
Ever noticed how children are so forgiving. They can be hurt by someone, literally pushed to the ground, but they get over it in minutes.

The Lord has been teaching me so much about how to truly resolve conflict & how to be a godly friend.
How to not look to friendships with girlfiriends as a replacement for His love.
How to ask myself if I am really turning to Him first or if I would rather see if that special girl of mine is home, so I can share my hurt & vent?
As the Lord has moved me around a lot, I have realised in the past I so looked to these beautiful friendships as a way of having my needs met, finding my identity and removing loneliness.
When I was in Middle School, I had a wonderful friendship with a sweet girl which was totally unhealthy. If she was not in school for a day, I was lost. If she wasn't sitting at a table, I couldn't sit there. Our relationship was so dramatic, full of passive aggresive behavior and withdrawal to punish and protect ourselves. Completely self-focused.
But if I am truly following Christ, then I need to follow His example of how to love people.

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. 

{Phillippians 2:3-5}

If we all have an attitude of selflessness with each other, there are likely to be less conflicts.
The friendships I value the most are probably those with whom the girls are grasping this concept the most.
I need to start asking myself how I can serve her when talking.
How can I show her Jesus, even if this is uncomfortable for me.
When both serving & seeking Christ...the friendship is able to blossom into something
SO precious.

I have a few of these wonderful ladies in my life, I value my time & conversations with them SO MUCH! Most of them don't even live in the same place as me.
They encourage me to pursue the Lord when I am hurting.
Often I don't need them to pat me on the shoulder as I cry, I need them to tell me truth.
They know my heart's desire is to be more like Jesus.
That requires telling me when I am wrong at times.
I love it when they challenge me about whether I have taken the problem to the Lord first....because it shows me they truly care, about me & relationship with the Lord.
I may not love it at the time, but they understand that I will appreciate that more when I'm not so caught up 'in the moment.'
A lot of people could sit and sympathize with me and tell me how right I am to feel hurt by things, but to me a true friend will challenge me to grow from the situation and encourage me to trust the Lord, even if it hurts.
This kind of friendship is true edification, for both myself & the other person.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

{Colossians 3:12-13}

We are called to have a different reaction to each other than what the world tells us.
We are not to get angry quickly even if someone was insensitive, we are to be full of patience. Making allowances for their faults, and forgiving them.
That last verse hits me the hardest, the Lord has forgiven me...so I must forgive others.

'When both individuals are seeking to live a life that is all about Jesus, it will naturally result in a desire to make the friendship one in which they not only get more of Jesus, but become more like Him as well. A friendship that purposefully makes Him the center and draws both people close to Him will become a beautiful testimony of patient graciousness, humble servitude, and selfless love - spurring others on toward that same single-hearted pursuit.'

{Leslie Ludy - Set-Apart Friendship Part 2, Set Apart Girl Magazine} 

Our security comes from Christ alone. He is able to make us whole and complete.
He is able to love us perfectly, like no-one on this earth can.
Not even a husband.
May those difficult relationships remind us of that beautiful truth.


And those beautiful friendships.....well we are Blessed, friends.

Much Love,
L