A Girly Night.

Hey Friends,
Lets grab a cup of coffee together this evening, or tea, or if like me you are still experiencing some winter evenings, how about some hot cocoa? Snuggle up in your PJs too if you like. I would encourage you to grab a blanket and curl up on our couches round the fireplace. I'm curled up by the fireplace this evening thinking of you girls sitting with me discussing our favorite movies, hanging out, sharing our hearts and having a fun evening together.

After hearing how each of your days were, I know we would move on to sharing deeper things, I am sure the topic of purity would come up at some point. And being married I'm sure so many of you wonder why I am still focused on it. But I still love talking about it, its something so close to my heart. Its totally something we think about while waiting for that special someone right? It's keeping ourselves pure before marriage, saving ourselves for that one guy. Anyway, you get that lots of times we associate purity with singleness. 

God has really been showing me since I got married that it is so much more than all that. He has been showing me more and more that it goes beyond the wedding day. 

Since this could be our first girl night together, I'm going to back up a little before going into a talk about purity after marriage as there are probably some background things about me you would want to know. I grew up in a christian family for starters, so I heard about God and His love for me at a young age. I also did a Purity program (True Love Waits) in high school and made the decision to save sex for marriage. My parents even gave me a ring engraved with the date I made the commitment showing their support of my decision. After completing high school the Lord really gave me a deeper heart for purity, only by His grace did I make it through high school having never been physical with a guy, because for the majority of it, I was still figuring out what I thought about purity and waiting. Now I will honestly tell you, I really believe that saving yourself for marriage is a wise decision, for obvious physical reasons and emotional reasons. I really believe that God shows us that the best plan for us is to wait until marriage to fulfill our physical desires.

But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

1 Cor 7:2

The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

1 Cor 6:13

We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day.

1 Cor 10:8

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,  idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Galatians 5:19-20

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor....

1 Thessalonians 4:2-4

Such verses really convict me on these thoughts. 

For years I also loved the Rebecca St. James song Wait for Me and had it as my ringtone for through college. The Lord really worked on my heart showing me that I needed to trust Him to bring the right guy into my life at the right time. It was hard. I am sure so many of you are in that stage right now, and friend I wish I could give you a huge hug as we sit round our fireplace talking. And encourage you, to keep pursuing God and His wonderful plans for you.  
Those years were some of the most difficult years of my life, but so so precious. I'm not just saying that, I've been there and I know its true. Intimacy with Jesus was such a part of that waiting period for me. Just moments of learning how to sit in His presence and enjoy being with Him. 
Waiting on His timing for romance, learning that relationship with Him is a beautiful romance.

I remember journaling at midnight the night before my birthday freshman year.
How precious it is now to look back and realise the intimacy that was forming in my heart for my king. Being able to celebrate my birthday with Him first was so special to me.

Despite all the unknowns and the wonderings of who the Lord had for me. The desires in my heart for a guy to someday pursue me and love me. I look back now on those years joyfully, and hope to encourage you dear friends in that way. Because I see how precious they were.

I see that God used them to show me that He wanted my whole heart. 
How by trusting Him, I learned to love Him even more. 
Because He was so faithful & trustworthy.

Those are the thoughts I would share with you this evening friend wherever they find you. Whether married with small children and so so tired, newly married and confused about where life is going or single and waiting. Purity is for each one of us. Purity begins with intimacy with our prince. 

Love you friends!

L

P.S. I really want to have another girly night soon. 

{On My Heart} Mondays. [Part 7: Sweet Friendships]

I have been blessed to meet some wonderful girls in my short lifetime.
Those with whom I have been able to share a hot cocoa, watch a girly movie, share our deepest desires, encourage each other & enjoy spending time together in general.
The older I get, the more I realise how rare & precious these friendships are.

We are so sinful, in general.
As girls, I've noticed how things can be overdramatized when it comes to relationships with each other. We are so fast to point out how a phone call got missed, an insensitive comment was made, or we felt betrayed.
Then we often shut down or withdraw, we try to punish them for hurting us.
Even when we try to forgive, we often find we hold on to those feelings of hurt or betrayal. We still remember things they said even after trying to 'resolve' the conflict.

Gone are the simple days when things were dramatic for about 5 minutes over sharing a toy, then we forgot about it and were best of friends again. How I long for those days.....
Ever noticed how children are so forgiving. They can be hurt by someone, literally pushed to the ground, but they get over it in minutes.

The Lord has been teaching me so much about how to truly resolve conflict & how to be a godly friend.
How to not look to friendships with girlfiriends as a replacement for His love.
How to ask myself if I am really turning to Him first or if I would rather see if that special girl of mine is home, so I can share my hurt & vent?
As the Lord has moved me around a lot, I have realised in the past I so looked to these beautiful friendships as a way of having my needs met, finding my identity and removing loneliness.
When I was in Middle School, I had a wonderful friendship with a sweet girl which was totally unhealthy. If she was not in school for a day, I was lost. If she wasn't sitting at a table, I couldn't sit there. Our relationship was so dramatic, full of passive aggresive behavior and withdrawal to punish and protect ourselves. Completely self-focused.
But if I am truly following Christ, then I need to follow His example of how to love people.

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. 

{Phillippians 2:3-5}

If we all have an attitude of selflessness with each other, there are likely to be less conflicts.
The friendships I value the most are probably those with whom the girls are grasping this concept the most.
I need to start asking myself how I can serve her when talking.
How can I show her Jesus, even if this is uncomfortable for me.
When both serving & seeking Christ...the friendship is able to blossom into something
SO precious.

I have a few of these wonderful ladies in my life, I value my time & conversations with them SO MUCH! Most of them don't even live in the same place as me.
They encourage me to pursue the Lord when I am hurting.
Often I don't need them to pat me on the shoulder as I cry, I need them to tell me truth.
They know my heart's desire is to be more like Jesus.
That requires telling me when I am wrong at times.
I love it when they challenge me about whether I have taken the problem to the Lord first....because it shows me they truly care, about me & relationship with the Lord.
I may not love it at the time, but they understand that I will appreciate that more when I'm not so caught up 'in the moment.'
A lot of people could sit and sympathize with me and tell me how right I am to feel hurt by things, but to me a true friend will challenge me to grow from the situation and encourage me to trust the Lord, even if it hurts.
This kind of friendship is true edification, for both myself & the other person.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

{Colossians 3:12-13}

We are called to have a different reaction to each other than what the world tells us.
We are not to get angry quickly even if someone was insensitive, we are to be full of patience. Making allowances for their faults, and forgiving them.
That last verse hits me the hardest, the Lord has forgiven me...so I must forgive others.

'When both individuals are seeking to live a life that is all about Jesus, it will naturally result in a desire to make the friendship one in which they not only get more of Jesus, but become more like Him as well. A friendship that purposefully makes Him the center and draws both people close to Him will become a beautiful testimony of patient graciousness, humble servitude, and selfless love - spurring others on toward that same single-hearted pursuit.'

{Leslie Ludy - Set-Apart Friendship Part 2, Set Apart Girl Magazine} 

Our security comes from Christ alone. He is able to make us whole and complete.
He is able to love us perfectly, like no-one on this earth can.
Not even a husband.
May those difficult relationships remind us of that beautiful truth.


And those beautiful friendships.....well we are Blessed, friends.

Much Love,
L