Passion in Brokenness.

Honestly, its been a hard season year over here. Lots of tears, battles fought, with some won and some taking every ounce of strength I have and then some. Thankfully through it all there has been a lot of refining, growth and holding onto the Lord with everything I have. So I can't really complain about the process. Anything which brings me closer to Him with a daily drive to be in His presence is worth all the pain. 

Being married has been a blessing in so many ways, yet in others I have found it extremely hard. I have this bad habit of caring deeply what other people think of me. Often allowing their opinions to define who I think I am and not the Lord. And its been a hard year for learning to let go of approval from others. From not being ashamed of where the Lord has taken me in life, how He has orchestrated certain things and how I met my husband young. 

I started sharing our love story here. Then I stopped, to be honest I almost completely dropped out of the blogging community all together not long after. Many things factored into this happening. But one of which was feeling the desire to hide. You see, I grew up with a deep heart for purity and waiting. For waiting on the Lord's timing for romance and wanting to encourage single young women to fall in love with Him and trust Him to work out the rest. I had a lot of friendships formed with that common ground. 

It was a beautiful season in my life. 

Then I got married.

 And I was ashamed to talk about this beautiful story the Lord had written in my life. I didn't want to make other girls feel bad about where the Lord had them. I wanted to still encourage them to keep waiting and trusting, now knowing that what He had whispered to my young heart about trusting Him was completely true! 

But I began to allow this to rob me of the joy He has given me with where I am now.

It has been a hard few years understanding why the Lord gave me a passion for Waiting and Purity, then bringing my husband to me at a young age. I can't begin to understand what it feels to be a late-20 something single girl who is struggling with loneliness and longing for an earthly prince. Yet my heart breaks, because my heart is minister to you, friend. To reach out and assure you that it will be ok. That the Lord does have beautiful plans for each one of us, we are just never sure what those plans are until we are the other side.

{Via}

I am still not sure how He will continue to use me with this passion. Whether it will change into a passion for something else completely or if He will continue to use me in small ways in this area. I have no idea what the Lord is doing to be honest. 

Something I would appreciate your prayer for, friends!

I had started writing here sharing thoughts on purity, waiting and loving the Lord. I still think these are totally relevant. I also feel at a crossroads of Him doing something bigger and moving forward, I just can't yet see what that is. So maybe there are big changes ahead for this little space as I pray, listen and hope to follow His leading.

In the meantime, I am resting in the assurance that God is good. 

He is gracious and loving. 

Understanding the longings of my heart even I can seem to understand 

(or explain). 

I am so thankful to sit in His presence when my poor husband is not sure how to help because I don't understand how this passion is still so present in my current life situation.

And my heavenly prince gets it. He understands what I'm feeling and probably smiles knowing what is on the other side of the crossroad. 

In the meantime I hope to continue encouraging you ladies, sweet friends. Even in all the rambling and brokenness from this girl. Thankyou for being gracious with me as I have not replied to emails or taken forever to do things. 

You show me Christ daily and I am so thankful. 

Much Love!

L

A Love Story. Maybe its Ours. Part 1.

I don't know about you guys, but I really feel like I should be having  more girly evenings. Just this desire to sit down with girly magazines, do eat others hair, watch a girly movie or even just hang out and talk. Perhaps its because I've done a bunch of hanging with the hubby and some of his friends lately. Or maybe just that I'm more of a girly girl than I thought I was haha. Or just that I'm in desperate need of a manicure ;)

I'm not sure if this should become a weekly thing too. A girly night here in this little space. Wouldn't it be awesome if the comments section became like a chatting place. Sorry dreaming moment there.

As you can probably tell I get these random dreaming moments or moments of inspiration as I like to call them. 

Anyway, just wondering if you guys had any suggestions on topics for girly evenings? Things you want to talk about together? And I say that cause I would love to talk with you guys and not at you guys too :) 

I felt the desire to share our love story for the first time this evening. And if you were here, I would probably pull out the scrapbooks ;)

Not sure how far I'll get but I will go ahead and start. I've been meaning to share for a while how God scripted our story and just haven't got to it. 

So if you're at a point in life where this won't be encouraging, feel free to stop reading here.

I don't want to discourage anyone, I just want to share how the Lord brought us together to praise His goodness in that and to encourage those of you who are waiting, that God does hear us when we pray and write beautiful love stories.

(I will add that obviously this is all from my point of view, 

for A's version....well I guess you'd have to ask him.....)

So here's possibly why I put this off haha! Because in my opinion, the story starts here.

In the awkward pre-teen new girl stage. I had just moved from another country where I had been really comfortable. I had been in a school I loved and had a group of friends who I was close to, then we moved. And not like one of your few hours away kind of moves, but more like a different part of the world, new continent type of move. So there was no possible chance I was going to see these friends on a regular basis, if ever again. Time took my group of friends to literally the four corners of the globe, so you get the idea haha. 

So I had just moved to this new place and the new church we started going to had an Awana club, including a Jr high group. So my sister and I started going and there we met some pretty cool people. Many of whom we would grow up with of the next few years.

One of which was this guy:

(Totally asked his permission before posting btw)

And yeah, well I will confess that even at thirteen. I liked him. He seemed like a nice guy, not that we were going to date or anything like that. But lets just say I totally had a crush on him back then. 

So if you skip several awkward years of being friends, me having a bit of a crush on him. But never knowing each other that well as he was homeschooled and I went to school, we only saw each other at Awana. Then we also went to youth group together, having several of the same friends. It wasn't as though there were many kids our age. 

So my last year of high school and the year after (I took a gap year after high school), we hung out with our friends and started to get to know each other well.

Mutually liking what we saw in the other person.

I had begun praying about what I wanted in a husband someday when I was sixteen. I also began reading several books like I kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy, but didn't really have any idea at this point what to do with dating. A's parents had thought a lot about those things beforehand and really advocated no dating in high school. And looking back I am so glad they shared their wisdom with us. 

(I would highly recommend those books, even if you don't agree with everything...they are worth reading and make you think! I would also advocate while in high school figuring out what your thoughts on about dating before you meet a guy you like!)     

I knew A when I wrote what I was looking for in a husband, but we weren't super close. In fact I had several other crushes in between meeting him and really liking him by the end of high school :)

So by the end of high school I pulled that list back out and his character was a lot like what I had been praying for, not 100% perfect though. 

After all we were still incredibly young and both planned on going to college.....in different countries. 

But by this point, we liked what we saw in each other and weren't sure what to do about it.

It was suggested to us, that because we were getting so close with no intention of being able to be engaged or marry anytime soon, that we stop talking on leaving for college in different countries. Instead just trusting that if the Lord wanted the two of us together, He would make that clear. So that we wouldn't continue to make something work that was never intended for where we were at in life. 

And I am SO glad we did. 

So summer before college, I said goodbye to my best friend, maybe for good.

Praying and trusting that God knew what He was doing, even if we didn't have a clue.

A few hours after the picture was taken, he got on a plane heading to the states to go to college.

I stayed home for the summer with multiple adventures (stories for another time) then headed to England in the fall for college.

But I might stop there for this evening friends! 

A Girly Night.

Hey Friends,
Lets grab a cup of coffee together this evening, or tea, or if like me you are still experiencing some winter evenings, how about some hot cocoa? Snuggle up in your PJs too if you like. I would encourage you to grab a blanket and curl up on our couches round the fireplace. I'm curled up by the fireplace this evening thinking of you girls sitting with me discussing our favorite movies, hanging out, sharing our hearts and having a fun evening together.

After hearing how each of your days were, I know we would move on to sharing deeper things, I am sure the topic of purity would come up at some point. And being married I'm sure so many of you wonder why I am still focused on it. But I still love talking about it, its something so close to my heart. Its totally something we think about while waiting for that special someone right? It's keeping ourselves pure before marriage, saving ourselves for that one guy. Anyway, you get that lots of times we associate purity with singleness. 

God has really been showing me since I got married that it is so much more than all that. He has been showing me more and more that it goes beyond the wedding day. 

Since this could be our first girl night together, I'm going to back up a little before going into a talk about purity after marriage as there are probably some background things about me you would want to know. I grew up in a christian family for starters, so I heard about God and His love for me at a young age. I also did a Purity program (True Love Waits) in high school and made the decision to save sex for marriage. My parents even gave me a ring engraved with the date I made the commitment showing their support of my decision. After completing high school the Lord really gave me a deeper heart for purity, only by His grace did I make it through high school having never been physical with a guy, because for the majority of it, I was still figuring out what I thought about purity and waiting. Now I will honestly tell you, I really believe that saving yourself for marriage is a wise decision, for obvious physical reasons and emotional reasons. I really believe that God shows us that the best plan for us is to wait until marriage to fulfill our physical desires.

But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

1 Cor 7:2

The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

1 Cor 6:13

We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day.

1 Cor 10:8

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,  idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Galatians 5:19-20

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor....

1 Thessalonians 4:2-4

Such verses really convict me on these thoughts. 

For years I also loved the Rebecca St. James song Wait for Me and had it as my ringtone for through college. The Lord really worked on my heart showing me that I needed to trust Him to bring the right guy into my life at the right time. It was hard. I am sure so many of you are in that stage right now, and friend I wish I could give you a huge hug as we sit round our fireplace talking. And encourage you, to keep pursuing God and His wonderful plans for you.  
Those years were some of the most difficult years of my life, but so so precious. I'm not just saying that, I've been there and I know its true. Intimacy with Jesus was such a part of that waiting period for me. Just moments of learning how to sit in His presence and enjoy being with Him. 
Waiting on His timing for romance, learning that relationship with Him is a beautiful romance.

I remember journaling at midnight the night before my birthday freshman year.
How precious it is now to look back and realise the intimacy that was forming in my heart for my king. Being able to celebrate my birthday with Him first was so special to me.

Despite all the unknowns and the wonderings of who the Lord had for me. The desires in my heart for a guy to someday pursue me and love me. I look back now on those years joyfully, and hope to encourage you dear friends in that way. Because I see how precious they were.

I see that God used them to show me that He wanted my whole heart. 
How by trusting Him, I learned to love Him even more. 
Because He was so faithful & trustworthy.

Those are the thoughts I would share with you this evening friend wherever they find you. Whether married with small children and so so tired, newly married and confused about where life is going or single and waiting. Purity is for each one of us. Purity begins with intimacy with our prince. 

Love you friends!

L

P.S. I really want to have another girly night soon. 

Heart Stirrings.

{Via}

Hey sweet friends! So I have avoided writing on the topic of Valentines Day since I wasn't really sure what to say. I honestly I have also been avoiding talking about marriage on this space and the way in which the Lord wrote my love story because I have been afraid of upsetting so many single girls who may be struggling with discontentment. I remember being in that situation and really the last thing I want is for someone to interpret my joy as 'rubbing it in' over where God has you in your love story.

Yet, I also don't know if I am doing any single girls service by not talking about how the Lord scripted our story. Because while waiting one of the most precious things was hearing how others waited on the Lord for an answer on who He had for them, struggled through the trials while waiting but saw joy in the end, and hearing about how He had orchestrated a love story. Yes, there may have been a little tinge of jealousy. But at the end of the day, it was so encouraging to hear how someone else had waited on the Lord and watched Him fulfill His promise of having perfect plans. It gave hope knowing He had perfect plans for me also.

All that to say, my heart is in encouraging others in purity, waiting and pointing others to Jesus. Falling in love with Him and learning that He is your first love. At the same time, I don't want to be ungrateful for the beautiful love story He scripted in my life by not sharing it to encourage others. So if I do share I want you all to know my heart in this. To encourage you that our God is in the business of writing individual beautiful romances.
So maybe it is finally time to share our love story with you friends. I'm not planning on doing that this evening, but maybe in the near future I will share how I found myself married to my sweet husband in a story that couldn't have been written by anyone other than our God.

So all that said.

I wanted to share a little about Valentines Day. Not because its a special day, but I think that often these holidays have a way of reminding us how we should be cherishing relationships throughout the rest of the year. I totally agree that we should be loving our spouses and family members on a daily basis.
Yet I find my heart stirred on this 'special' occasions almost as though they serve as beautiful reminders to keep cherishing what we should be cherishing. How an anniversary, valentines day or birthday can remind us to see the blessing that another person is in our lives. How Christmas can point us to worship because of God's gift of His son. Something we should worship Him for daily, but Christmas serves as that wonderful reminder to help us, same for Easter when we focus on the Cross. So its not that these holidays are the only day we do these things, but at least for me they help my heart. Help me focus on what I should be focusing on, worshiping God and counting Blessings in life.

Our Valentines Day wasn't particularly eventful. But it was time where we could get dressed up, go out to dinner, enjoy seeing each other delight in little cards and gifts. And have that reminder that we should cherish each other. Whether its with a spouse or your family, its a great reminder to love one another and something we can do no matter what relationship status we are in.

Every year on Valentines Day I return to the same article written quite a few years ago now. I wanted to share my post from last year here again:

This is perhaps more of an {On My Heart} post, but since it is Valentines Day, I thought it appropriate to share an article I return to every February 14th since reading it a few years ago.

It was written by a wonderful Sister-in-Christ who shared what the Lord taught her while she was praying through her ideal husband.

Having written a similar list myself (when I was 16), I am a huge advocate of this idea. Being able to prayerfully consider what qualities you desire your husband to have (and even from yourself before you get married).

Then pray and ask the Lord to help grow your future husband in these ways.

When a guy then comes into your life and doesn't display these qualities, trust the Lord that this may not be the guy for you.

If he is, the Lord will show you.

I found this super helpful as it showed me any 'red flags' in a guy and helped keep my heart in the right place when meeting someone who I was taken with.

With that in mind, this sweet girl was praying through her list of qualities and felt that the Lord was answering her:

I prayed for a man committed to God.

Jesus smiled, “I and my Father are one.” John 10:30

I prayed for a man that would be a spiritual leader.

“I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No man cometh

to the Father, but by me.”  John 14:6

I prayed for a man of high standards and integrity.

 “He did no sin, neither was guile found in His mouth.”  I Peter 2:22

I prayed for a man of the Word.

 “I am the living Word, and

I came to live with you.”  John 1:14

I prayed for a man that knew how to be a servant.

 “Jesus made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men.”  Philippians 2:7

I prayed for a man that was full of spiritual life.

“I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”  John 10:10

I prayed for a man of faith and prayer.

Then I watched with amazement as He went out and spend all night in prayer...for me!  Luke 6:12

I prayed for a man that would provide for my needs.

He not only fed the five thousand long ago, He also feeds me today! Mark 6:41, Philippians 4:19

I prayed for a man that would be the head of the home and a leader. Someone to look up to spiritually.

 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:9

I prayed for a man that knew how to love others...even the unpleasant outcasts.

Jesus replied, “In that while you were all yet sinners [the lowest outcast],

I died for you.”  Romans 5:8

I prayed for someone that would help me walk closer to God.

And the more I got to know him, the closer I drew to God.  Psalm 23, Matthew 6:33

 {Adapted from The Perfect Valentine, Set Apart Girl Magazine, Feb 2009, Used with Permission}

What a beautiful reminder sweet friends, that all we desire in a relationship can be found in our first love.

In Christ alone. He alone satisfies.

Not even an earthly relationship compares.

Life is not more satisfying once you have a husband in your life.

He alone satisfies our every need.

Valentines Day is a day we can spend remembering our Love for the Lord. 

Don't get depressed, remember His promises on this day.

He has beautiful plans for you and longs for relationship with you.

If you want a love story today, start an eternal one with your prince. 

He won't let you down.

You are loved more than you will ever know, sweet friends!

Much Love,

L

Loneliness.

You know those times in life when we feel things just aren't going the way we want.
We feel left out of friendship circles,
we don't have the romantic relationship we desire and God seems silent.
We enter into this constant battle once again.
The battle of loneliness.


It plagues every single one of us.
From our single days when we are waiting on God to bring us that romantic relationship we are looking for.
The days of long distance relationships, where we miss that significant other so much it hurts.
The days of engagement where we feel as though our wedding day can't come fast enough
because then we won't have to do life alone anymore.
To the early days of marriage when life has completely changed,
the honeymoon is over and hubby goes back to work.
The days of being a mommy to small children,
where even though there is perhaps never quiet. It can still be oh so ever lonely.
Or even those days when our children grow up and leave the nest, the loneliness of an empty house.
It affects us all. Wherever we find ourselves. 


I definitely didn't set out this morning to share these thoughts, but as I was reading my devotional this morning, the Lord laid this topic on my heart.
No matter where we find ourselves, we battle loneliness.
It doesn't go away as our life circumstances change.
But God can really use these times of loneliness if we let Him.


Jesus often went away to seek His father.
To spend time alone with Him, being refreshed and ready to do what His father asked of Him (see Luke 5).
When we're alone with God, we hear His voice more clearly.
Moments of loneliness may in fact not be a bad thing.
They could be gifts from the Lord,
times when we are able to get away from the distractions of the world and seek him without hindrances.

'Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.'

{1 Peter 4:10-11}

Even when we are lonely, God calls us to serve others.
Everyday we encounter people who are hurting and need to hear of the Lord's love for them.
By serving others we even take our eyes of our own situation and instead focus on others. 
The best way to battle loneliness, serving. 


But its also important to remember that no matter where we find ourselves in life friends! Whether we have broken dreams or feel we don't have anyone to turn to in life. We have Him, who promises to meet all our emotional and social needs. He is dependable and will do exactly as He promises!
So as we change our attitude from looking inward and feeling sorry for ourselves, to being grateful we have time to spend with God and looking to reach out to others in need.....there we find the way to battle loneliness.

And honestly, I'm beginning to think life is all about those little moments where we struggle and grow. Not about the moments which we always long for.

{Image from google, edited by me}

I'm clinging to this beautiful truth today friends, would you like to join me? 

Much Love,

L

To Those of You Who Are Waiting.

Several years ago, I went to a store and hanging desperately onto what the Lord was telling me, I bought a journal.

I walked home and sat at the desk in my dorm room and pulled it out. Opening the pages I began to write. I began to actively believe that the Lord knew what He was doing and that I was choosing to trust Him, with tears of surrender I began to believe that He was able to do so much more than I could dream. Let me tell you friend, He delivered on that promise.

I started a journal full of letters to my future husband.

I chose to let go that day and push away those feelings of doubt, 

those feelings of its never going to happen to me, 

no one could ever love me enough to marry me. 

There aren't any godly guys around me here in this place, Lord.

I chose to ignore the advice of media saying go after the guy you like, go and tell him you like him and initiate. 

I knew there had to be a better way than that.

A friend had once shared with me that she had surrendered the pen of her love life to the Lord, to do with it what He saw fit. 

And I had believed that I had done the same. 

But I realised that in not trusting Him to follow through, I was not actively believing Him. I doubted that the Lord knew my heart and who I would want for a husband someday. 

So buying a journal and believing I would one day give it to the man He had for me, I knew I was trusting Him. 

I was surrendering my love life to God through this process.

That journal became so precious. Whenever I wanted to pray for my future husband or felt discontent with him not being in my life yet, I wrote. 

I filled the pages with dreams and prayers, writing on birthdays and other days I wanted to share with him. 

Sharing those intimate details that I longed to share as I watched other couples being intimate with each other. 

Sometimes I had a lot to say and other times months would go by before I would open its pages.

Over time the Lord did bring a man into my life, and those letters started having him in mind as I wrote them. While being cautious with our conversations getting ahead of where we were at in our relationship, whenever I wanted to pray or share my dreams on where our relationship was heading, I wrote in that book.

I continued to trust the Lord to write the story He had started in His way....refusing to jump ahead now that this man was in my life.

 I filled it completely just before we got married.

On our wedding night, I handed my husband the journal and told him it was his.

All those prayers and dreams were for him. 

I gave him my whole heart when I handed him that journal. 

All the details and memories about myself I couldn't put into words to share on that night. And he read through them all in the days that followed.

I won’t share the intimate details hidden within the pages of that journal, because those letters were for His eyes only. Filled with promises I felt the Lord had for me, for us as a couple and dreams of things in the future.

I share these things to encourage you single ladies!!! To share with you how the Lord wrote that beautiful story in my life and blessed me through it. 

How those of us who wait don’t just end up all alone with no one while others get married. I want to encourage you girls, because I have been where you are. 

I have known the loneliness and the feelings of discontentment. 

I share this to share how God revealed to me how I could trust Him through those times.

The Lord protected me from revealing too much of myself to guys by nudging me to write to my future husband instead, He allowed me to record those memories within its pages to share with my husband someday. 

My husband still reads those letters to this day.

And friend, I want to encourage you to do the same.

A sweet bible study leader in high school sat a group of us down one evening and shared with us how she journalled her walk with the Lord. As she spoke of being able to look back in hard times and see how the Lord answered prayers, she revealed how often we don’t notice how prayers are answered, we forget about what we prayed and how He spoke. But when we take the time to record our prayers in a journal, we can reread things we prayed for and know how the Lord heard us! It is so encouraging in those moments when we don’t even feel we have faith the size of a mustard seed. She blessed each one of us in that group that evening and gave us each a journal in which to record our prayers and journeys with the Lord. To encourage us and to give us proof of His faithfulness in those moments of trial.

Today, I want to bless you guys in the same way.

I partnered with friends over at Paper Coterie in this last week and they want to give each of you a free journal. 

I would love for each of you to receive a journal of choice from their beautiful collection and start your own journal.

Maybe it will be full of letters to your future husband as you wait for Him.

Or even a journal recording a difficult year of your life.

Maybe even just a journal to record the mundane events you feel are taking place.

But I pray that through this journaling process, you will see God clearly. 

You will see how He does answer when we think He hasn't heard us. 

That you will be able to look back in hard times and know how He carried you through that dark valley. May you cling to His promises and not forget.  

Today I am thankful//for journaling.

Much Love,

L

Why not head over now using the link below and enter the following code at checkout :

welcomejournal

DISCLOSURE: COMPENSATED AFFILIATE LINKS USED

Purity & Waiting.

It feels strange to write about a topic which has been so dear to my heart for such a long time and know that it may not be heard well. In my single days, or even my dating days....it was easier to encourage people in this situation. But I have found as the Lord has brought a beautiful relationship into my life which turned into a marriage, that my words on the topic of singleness and dating are not heard as well.

I have often heard it is hard to be encouraged, while in your single years, by someone who has what you want...a relationship.
I even felt this way myself while waiting for the Lord to bring a man into my life.
I'm beginning to think that my unwillingness to listen to encouragement from those who had already walked down the relationship path, I may have missed out on hearing how God provided and answered the similar prayers of another sister.

That should not be discouraging. It should instead be a beautiful picture of how God answers those prayers we are praying. As I've grown older I've learnt to value having someone further ahead of you on the path in life to encourage you and seen how it's also biblical.

'Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.'

{Hebrews 11:24-25}

There is something encouraging about hearing God answer a prayer that you yourself are praying. To see victory over a challenging trial as it gives us great hope. (or at least it should, instead of just bring up envy)

I know from experience that it can be discouraging waiting to meet that someone in your life, being desperate to love them already and not understanding why he isn't here yet. I long to encourage you girls in this situation. To show you that God really does answer those prayers for a godly husband. That He hears you, loves you and definitely hasn't forgotten you. 

Did you know that you can be loving your future husband now, even before you meet him.

In fact that's what the picture of the Proverbs 31 woman shows us.....

'Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?

    She is more precious than rubies.

Her husband can trust her,

    and she will greatly enrich his life.

She brings him good, not harm,

    all the days of her life.'

{Proverbs 31:10-12}

Let me introduce you to a guy who has spent his single years living for himself. He has embraced the messages of the modern culture today and decided to 'seize the day' or 'live for the here and now.' He goes out with a different girl several times a week, just having fun. He may not sleep with any of them, he is trying to follow the Lord after all. But he figures in order to find the right girl, he needs to date around right? He doesn't spend much time investing in his family, in fact he spent most of his teenage years at home wishing he could be out with his friends during family dinners. His room is a mess and he is disrespectful of his parents. He lived for trips out to the movies with his friends and spending time with maybe even a girlfriend. When he hangs out with his friends, he shows-off wanting to be seen as cool by everyone. He loves being the center of attention, burps loudly and laughs at crude jokes being told around him. He's quite even possibly all-around a nice guy on the service, he says all the right things and knows how to be a romantic guy.

Now picture a different guy. He has also decided to make the most of every opportunity, but in order to love his future wife. Instead of not giving her much thought while growing up, he wrote her several letters and regularly prayed for her. He purposefully has chosen not to date until the Lord shows him a girl he should pursue. He works on the relationships which are already in his life. He shows his parents respect, encourages his younger brothers and sisters and genuinely loves his family. He speaks words of encouragement to his friends, seeking ways to build them up in their love for the Lord. He may be hopeless at keeping his room neat at home, but he tries out of respect for those who come into his living area. 

Which one would you feel most treasured/loved by if you were the girl brought into their life? 

Now imagine that these are not in fact guys, but girls. Just like you and me.
How wonderful would it be to aim to love our future husbands in that way?

I would love to say that I spent most of my single years pursuing the model of the second guy. In some ways I did, of course I couldn't achieve perfection in this area of life.

And that's ok. There is grace. 

(We are not saved through the things we do. The bible makes it perfectly clear we are saved by Christ dying on the cross in our place alone. Works do not play a part in our salvation. Purity does not equal salvation. Just to clarify.)

When we love Jesus and chose to follow him. We are called to live our lives for him, a life marked by love.

'A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.'

{John 13:34-35}

We are called to love our future husband all our days in Proverbs. I'm pretty sure the author was being literal. Before we are married we can show we love them by how we chose to live (and love God through these decisions to love others and put them before ourselves). 

We can find a great definition for love in 1 Corinthians.

 'Love is patient, 

love is kind. 

It does not envy, 

it does not boast, 

it is not proud. 

It does not dishonor others, 

it is not self-seeking, 

it is not easily angered, 

it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

It always protects, 

always trusts, 

always hopes, 

always perseveres.

Love never fails.' 

{1 Corinthians 13:4-8}

This is quite the challenging list and should be where we go for a measuring stick on how to love others in the relationships in our lives. Boy, isn't this challenging and hard?!

Choosing to prepare yourself for your future husband, while you are still single, is an amazing way to love them before you've even met them.

The purpose of saving ourselves for marriage should be out of love for our future spouses, not to earn favor with God. 

When you meet someone who has chosen to wait for you, they have saved themselves physically, emotionally, spiritually just for you. You really feel loved.

I know this from personal experience. 

But choosing to wait is not something we should do to get it given back in return. It is done out of love for the other person. It is choosing to put them first in our lives, regardless of what they choose to do for us. A great preparation for marriage. 

No matter where your life is at, or what your past looks like, you can choose to live out of love for your future husband from this day forward. 

There is no such thing as perfection while we are still human. 

Even people who set out trying to live this way selflessly from the age of thirteen still mess up. 

So even if you have already dated many people, or even if you have slept with someone....you are not damaged goods. You can choose to live out of love from them from this point onward. 

None of us has a perfect past and we all mess up.

God is a loving God of second chances.

If you have made a choice to wait for your future husband, know that from someone who has been there, it is worth waiting for. 

I promise.

I don't know of anyone who has waited, guarded their heart for their husband and regretted it. 

So keep at girl! The Lord does answer those prayers! I am totally here cheering you on and telling you to keep running this race (Heb 12:1-2). 

I leave you with a beautiful song that encouraged me so much during those years of waiting.

Much Love,

L