It always excites me so much to see friends of mine chasing their God-given dreams & I am thrilled to share with you today a ministry set up by a dear gem. I have had the opportunity to attend two conferences with Brittany and let me tell you, she is the real deal. One of the sweetest, most genuine ladies I have met through this sweet community. She dearly loves other women and has such a serving heart, perfect since she serves alongside her hubby in ministry. So I will let her share more about this new ministry, I really hope you will head over and check out how you can get involved.
Hello, my name is Brittany Willard. I'm so glad you are here! Welcome to Happy Heart Box. My hope is that this is a refreshing place for you: A place where you are encouraged to celebrate in the middle of everyday life; A place where freedom in Jesus is pursued. Happiness is revived. A lifestyle of living in Him is discovered.
Happy Heart Box started as a dream the Lord gave me in the Spring of 2014. In the Fall of 2013 I was fighting in a battle over my life. Upon the birth of my daughter, I experienced extreme health complications when I developed a rare condition called Postpartum Preeclampsia. It has taken me nearly a year to recover from this, but God is my healer. During that time, it was difficult to find encouragement. It felt as if my body was completely against me. I couldn't take care of my children, and it caused me to feel distant from loved ones. However, the Lord brought me through it all in such a big way. God began to remind me of all the other difficult times in life he had brought me through, to show me how faithful he was then and now. He placed a passion within me to encourage other women experiencing hard times and remind them they are loved by the Lord.
God has given me a desire to celebrate Him, to never be silent, but to always share His faithfulness with others. The Lord placed Psalm 30:10-11 in my heart during that difficult season of life and it has now become my life verse: "You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with you. That I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!"
My hope is that women who receive a Happy Heart Box feel encouraged and know that they are loved. My desire is to simply be a little extra happy in someone's life at just the right time. To remind them to celebrate life in the Lord. The Lord instructs us in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 to walk in friendship with others, to be there for one another in hard times, and to be an encouragement. Let Happy Heart Box be here for someone in your life who needs some extra happy.
I sign into my Instagram account when I have a few moments in my say and see a gorgeous picture of a mommy cuddling her little one in a chair early in the morning. My heart swells with joy for this sweet friend.
It wasn't always as easy to be happy for others for me, in fact if we go way back to Jr high we can perhaps pinpoint the beginning of my dilemma. Maybe it began even earlier.
Walking the halls of my school doing a circuit of the Jr high hallway loop with some friends at lunchtime, yeah we thought we were so cool. We passed my current crush with a group of his friends. As we walked closer I saw he was holding hands with one of the girls with him. I was devastated.
And immediately hated this girl. Oh the drama when you're 13 right?!?! haha.
So anyway, time passed and I hopefully matured some. Grew up and then found myself in a relationship with my husband. We were together quite a while before getting engaged since we both lived in different countries. Then some similar feelings came flooding back when another friend of mine got engaged.
What?! But I was the one waiting patiently right? We had been praying for the Lord's leading in our relationship and trying to make wise decisions. I may not have hated this friend this time, but I totally envied her. It just didn't seem fair.
Even once I was engaged, I then watched several friends get married in a few short months after becoming engaged. Of course, I had learned my lesson right? Wrong!
They should WAIT THEIR TURN! I'M NEXT!!!
Is exactly what came out of my ugly heart.
I'm even ashamed to admit that in some of these situations, I wanted nothing to do with any of these girls once they had what I wanted.
Big green monster anyone?
Finally once married, I watched several sweet friends getting married shortly after us.
And know what came out of my ugly heart...but getting married was my moment.
We are still enjoying our own wedding and honeymoon period.
This was where I was stopped cold in my tracks.
This was ugly.
And NOT who I wanted to be.
This was not glorifying Jesus and loving others.
I wanted to be happy for my friends. To share in their joys as well as their sufferings.
So how did I begin to battle this? Because it has been just that, a battle.
A dying to self process.
I decided shortly after that I needed to start my making my actions seem happy for the other person and trust that my heart would follow. I may not have gone around bursting with excitement for expectant mamas (although I embarrassingly do that now in a very genuine way. haha oops!) It began as a simple act, like finding out a friend was engaged & instead of saying nothing, I would send a short note to them saying congratulations! Saying how excited I was and asking how the planning was going.
(I didn't want to be fake in my excitement, but just share their joy)
I started practicing this everytime a friend was expecting. I would send a little gift to show I cared. Or a congratulations card. Or a quick phone call or even a short email.
I began to see a heart change in myself. Instead of making a conscious effort to do these things, it became natural.
Practicing celebrating with others then turned into a general thrill and excitement over blessings in my friends lives.
Seeing a friend's belly swell with a little miracle and attending her baby shower, while I myself have not yet been blessed in that way. I no longer see things through green tinted glasses. I see precious little babies and am so thankful I get to share in the joy of those around me.
Weddings now make my heart soar as I see a picture of the way Christ loves the church, instead of feeling sad that someone else is having a magical day or seeing it as better than my own wedding.
Sometimes, it is still a challenge.
But its also a choice.
It feels so vulnerable to share these thoughts with you guys, because they seem so ugly now I have said them out loud. Yet I share them because it is a battle I have walked through and still choose to allow Christ to help me through. Through these thoughts, I hope you see Jesus, grace and what He is capable of doing in our lives when we have a willing heart.
Much Love,
L P.S. Don't forget you have until midnight tonight (EST) to enter the Birthday Giveaway.
Hey there! My name is Elise and I blog
over at Forever Changed.
My journey
really began almost a year ago when I traveled over to Africa for the
first time. Long story short, God broke my heart for the people of
Rwanda. Before I had even touched American soil I had made up my mind
that I would be moving to Rwanda, and four months later I did just
that.
I have now been
living in Rwanda for almost six months. These six months have been the
most challenging, but also most rewarding, time of my life. God has
stretched and pushed me in every way, and though it was not always
fun, I am so thankful. I thank God everyday for
this opportunity. I am thankful that
He cares enough about me to give me a purpose, and that this is my
story.
Since moving to
Rwanda I have had the opportunity to go on a safari, bungee jump, white water raft down the nile, I even became a mom, and still, God had something in
store for me that would prove to be my biggest adventure
yet. You see, I came
to Rwanda with the intention of working in an orphanage. I thought
that would be Gods plan for me since He has gifted me in that
area. Well, God had
a completely different plan in mind, and His plans are always better are they
not? I no longer wanted to be self-seeking, but to truly be Gods servant;
His hands and feet and love the people of Rwanda in whatever way He directed.
So, I relinquished my plans and said "use me," and He did just
that.
In September God began directing me
to open a business, something I never wanted or intended to do with my life,
but wanting to be obedient I said "OK" and started down that path. He
began to open doors
making His will become my reality.
God broke my heart for 25
men, their stories and their circumstances. They didn’t have jobs and were
doing everything they could just to survive. These men aren't lazy or unable,
they want to work, they want to learn, they want to provide but until now have
been unable to do so and as a result of suffered.
Opening a business offers these men an
opportunity that is sustainable and a
chance. A chance to learn, a chance to provide for themselves and their
families, and chance to give back to the neighbors in need, a chance to make a
difference, and so, His Imbaraga was
born.
His Imbaraga
crafts hand-made leather products. We have only been up and running
for two weeks so but currently we are producing wallets, passport
holders, laptop cases and are messenger bags. Once our production
picks up we will open a website and begin selling. A portion of every
sale will go into the feeding program. So not only does His
Imbaraga provide
for 25 men but it will also start and support a weekly feeding program for
local village families. We will be able to offer people in need a meal and show
them the love of Jesus in the process.
From the beginning I have said this
business is Gods. He is the
boss. He is the one making this possible. And because of that I want this
business to honor Him in every way, giving back all the glory to Him, and Him
alone.
The truth is I could never run a
business. I have never had an interest in owning a business. I have
never taken a single business class in school. I know nothing about finances. I
am an introvert and avoid being a leader. I am not creative in the
ways of designing.
I am not fit to run a business in Rwanda, yet here I am. I have learned that
God did not choose me because I am qualified to run a business, I believe He
choose me because I am unqualified. My weaknesses allow Gods power to rest on
me.
“Therefore I will boast all the
more gladly about my weaknesses” 2 Corinthians
12:9
*If you are wanting to
support His Imbaraga you can find out how to do so here. *
*All photo
credit goes to my incredibly talented roommate* {Elise can also be found on twitter: @e_coop57} {Please head over and leave comments on Elise's Blog HERE}
She asked me if I had a minute, as I sat outside on a balcony during a humid evening on our trip. I think I was probably journalling at the time. She took a seat next to me and I set down my journal ready to listen to her.
'I just wanted to let you know that I admire you. You are the person I wish I was. You have made some good decisions in your life and I wish I had done the same.'
I then started to explain to her 'Oh girl, if only you knew half of the sin in my life and junk that is going on through my mind about so many things...'
'Just stop!' she replied. 'I don't want us to be close. I just wanted you to know I admire you.'
There wasn't much left for me to say except thank her for her honesty.
She looked relieved and walked away leaving me confused.
I don't understand how some people are able to sit and bond with you while others seem to keep you at arm's length. I have tried to figure out similarities between people who are open & those who aren't. But I can't really find any.
I'm puzzled by how sometimes a person will form an opinion about you but not want to get to know you better. Even if they tell you they admire you.
I guess sometimes I just need to be giving people grace. Grace to be where they are at on their journey and in their walk with the Lord. Grace where there is still room for growth.
There are going to be times when we encounter people who are further ahead than us and wiser in some areas of life. Sometimes they will be the ones who are behind and need encouragement.
I'm beginning to understand how precious an opportunity it is to learn from those who are further ahead than us, rather than be frustrated or turned away by how wise they are. As well as how we need to be encouragement to those who are further behind, they need those words to hear how rewarding that path ahead is when we work through sin and other issues.
There is so much to be learnt from someone further ahead, learning from their wisdom and past mistakes....hearing what they would have done differently. Get to know them, for its likely they will encourage you with their stories and thoughts.
That's my experience anyway.
What I never want to do friends, is close myself off from others. Especially those who are wise and full of insight with trials I am going through.
Sometimes it is particularly nice to have friends who are side by side with you at a stage in life. They are easy to relate to, they totally understand where you are at and its likely that you mutually move back and forth between being the encourager and being the recipient. I am praying that I don't seek this kind of friendship over any of the others though just because it is easier.
Honestly it is easier to be moving in and out of those roles, but its no more valuable than befriending someone younger to encourage or someone older who is wise.
Don't be discouraged with where God has you friends and don't close yourself off from learning from others. I am fully convinced that there is something to be learnt from everyone, even if its how not to be or act. Even if they are in completely different life situations also.
People can totally be from different walks of life and be able to learn from one another and encourage one another.
Several of my best friends are living proof of that. One of them has grown up and spent her whole life in the United States. The other is Indian by culture but lived her whole life in the Middle East.
While I myself am a British-born girl who spent her childhood in continental Europe and her teenage years with the camels (just kidding it was the middle east though).
I am the only one of the three of us who is married. But I tell you though the ways these two friends encourage me and inspire me to love the Lord is incredible. God has graciously brought all three of us through similar situations. Things we would not have known without daring to be close to one another.
Some friendships definitely take more work than others. We are all so different and sometimes those personalities can clash a little as well. But often the fruit from that labour is sweeter. For in battling the harder things, you may just grow more and learn how to really love others.
So friends, let us not give up learning from each other or write another person off based on age, influence, culture or place in our walk with the Lord.
I am working on becoming a dispenser of Grace (although I'm not very good at it) and seeking to learn from others, even those people I find hard to love at times.
Anyone want to join me?
Much Love,
L
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
It feels strange to write about a topic which has been so dear to my heart for such a long time and know that it may not be heard well. In my single days, or even my dating days....it was easier to encourage people in this situation. But I have found as the Lord has brought a beautiful relationship into my life which turned into a marriage, that my words on the topic of singleness and dating are not heard as well.
I have often heard it is hard to be encouraged, while in your single years, by someone who has what you want...a relationship.
I even felt this way myself while waiting for the Lord to bring a man into my life.
I'm beginning to think that my unwillingness to listen to encouragement from those who had already walked down the relationship path, I may have missed out on hearing how God provided and answered the similar prayers of another sister.
That should not be discouraging. It should instead be a beautiful picture of how God answers those prayers we are praying. As I've grown older I've learnt to value having someone further ahead of you on the path in life to encourage you and seen how it's also biblical.
'Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.'
{Hebrews 11:24-25}
There is something encouraging about hearing God answer a prayer that you yourself are praying. To see victory over a challenging trial as it gives us great hope. (or at least it should, instead of just bring up envy)
I know from experience that it can be discouraging waiting to meet that someone in your life, being desperate to love them already and not understanding why he isn't here yet. I long to encourage you girls in this situation. To show you that God really does answer those prayers for a godly husband. That He hears you, loves you and definitely hasn't forgotten you.
Did you know that you can be loving your future husband now, even before you meet him.
In fact that's what the picture of the Proverbs 31 woman shows us.....
'Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.'
{Proverbs 31:10-12}
Let me introduce you to a guy who has spent his single years living for himself. He has embraced the messages of the modern culture today and decided to 'seize the day' or 'live for the here and now.' He goes out with a different girl several times a week, just having fun. He may not sleep with any of them, he is trying to follow the Lord after all. But he figures in order to find the right girl, he needs to date around right? He doesn't spend much time investing in his family, in fact he spent most of his teenage years at home wishing he could be out with his friends during family dinners. His room is a mess and he is disrespectful of his parents. He lived for trips out to the movies with his friends and spending time with maybe even a girlfriend. When he hangs out with his friends, he shows-off wanting to be seen as cool by everyone. He loves being the center of attention, burps loudly and laughs at crude jokes being told around him. He's quite even possibly all-around a nice guy on the service, he says all the right things and knows how to be a romantic guy.
Now picture a different guy. He has also decided to make the most of every opportunity, but in order to love his future wife. Instead of not giving her much thought while growing up, he wrote her several letters and regularly prayed for her. He purposefully has chosen not to date until the Lord shows him a girl he should pursue. He works on the relationships which are already in his life. He shows his parents respect, encourages his younger brothers and sisters and genuinely loves his family. He speaks words of encouragement to his friends, seeking ways to build them up in their love for the Lord. He may be hopeless at keeping his room neat at home, but he tries out of respect for those who come into his living area.
Which one would you feel most treasured/loved by if you were the girl brought into their life?
Now imagine that these are not in fact guys, but girls. Just like you and me.
How wonderful would it be to aim to love our future husbands in that way?
I would love to say that I spent most of my single years pursuing the model of the second guy. In some ways I did, of course I couldn't achieve perfection in this area of life.
And that's ok. There is grace.
(We are not saved through the things we do. The bible makes it perfectly clear we are saved by Christ dying on the cross in our place alone. Works do not play a part in our salvation. Purity does not equal salvation. Just to clarify.)
When we love Jesus and chose to follow him. We are called to live our lives for him, a life marked by love.
'A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.'
{John 13:34-35}
We are called to love our future husband all our days in Proverbs. I'm pretty sure the author was being literal. Before we are married we can show we love them by how we chose to live (and love God through these decisions to love others and put them before ourselves).
We can find a great definition for love in 1 Corinthians.
'Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails.'
{1 Corinthians 13:4-8}
This is quite the challenging list and should be where we go for a measuring stick on how to love others in the relationships in our lives. Boy, isn't this challenging and hard?!
Choosing to prepare yourself for your future husband, while you are still single, is an amazing way to love them before you've even met them.
The purpose of saving ourselves for marriage should be out of love for our future spouses, not to earn favor with God.
When you meet someone who has chosen to wait for you, they have saved themselves physically, emotionally, spiritually just for you. You really feel loved.
I know this from personal experience.
But choosing to wait is not something we should do to get it given back in return. It is done out of love for the other person. It is choosing to put them first in our lives, regardless of what they choose to do for us. A great preparation for marriage.
No matter where your life is at, or what your past looks like, you can choose to live out of love for your future husband from this day forward.
There is no such thing as perfection while we are still human.
Even people who set out trying to live this way selflessly from the age of thirteen still mess up.
So even if you have already dated many people, or even if you have slept with someone....you are not damaged goods. You can choose to live out of love from them from this point onward.
None of us has a perfect past and we all mess up.
God is a loving God of second chances.
If you have made a choice to wait for your future husband, know that from someone who has been there, it is worth waiting for.
I promise.
I don't know of anyone who has waited, guarded their heart for their husband and regretted it.
So keep at girl! The Lord does answer those prayers! I am totally here cheering you on and telling you to keep running this race (Heb 12:1-2).
I leave you with a beautiful song that encouraged me so much during those years of waiting.
I have been blessed to meet some wonderful girls in my short lifetime.
Those with whom I have been able to share a hot cocoa, watch a girly movie, share our deepest desires, encourage each other & enjoy spending time together in general.
The older I get, the more I realise how rare & precious these friendships are.
We are so sinful, in general.
As girls, I've noticed how things can be overdramatized when it comes to relationships with each other. We are so fast to point out how a phone call got missed, an insensitive comment was made, or we felt betrayed.
Then we often shut down or withdraw, we try to punish them for hurting us.
Even when we try to forgive, we often find we hold on to those feelings of hurt or betrayal. We still remember things they said even after trying to 'resolve' the conflict.
Gone are the simple days when things were dramatic for about 5 minutes over sharing a toy, then we forgot about it and were best of friends again. How I long for those days.....
Ever noticed how children are so forgiving. They can be hurt by someone, literally pushed to the ground, but they get over it in minutes.
The Lord has been teaching me so much about how to truly resolve conflict & how to be a godly friend.
How to not look to friendships with girlfiriends as a replacement for His love.
How to ask myself if I am really turning to Him first or if I would rather see if that special girl of mine is home, so I can share my hurt & vent?
As the Lord has moved me around a lot, I have realised in the past I so looked to these beautiful friendships as a way of having my needs met, finding my identity and removing loneliness.
When I was in Middle School, I had a wonderful friendship with a sweet girl which was totally unhealthy. If she was not in school for a day, I was lost. If she wasn't sitting at a table, I couldn't sit there. Our relationship was so dramatic, full of passive aggresive behavior and withdrawal to punish and protect ourselves. Completely self-focused.
But if I am truly following Christ, then I need to follow His example of how to love people.
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
{Phillippians 2:3-5}
If we all have an attitude of selflessness with each other, there are likely to be less conflicts.
The friendships I value the most are probably those with whom the girls are grasping this concept the most.
I need to start asking myself how I can serve her when talking.
How can I show her Jesus, even if this is uncomfortable for me.
When both serving & seeking Christ...the friendship is able to blossom into something SO precious.
I have a few of these wonderful ladies in my life, I value my time & conversations with them SO MUCH! Most of them don't even live in the same place as me.
They encourage me to pursue the Lord when I am hurting.
Often I don't need them to pat me on the shoulder as I cry, I need them to tell me truth.
They know my heart's desire is to be more like Jesus.
That requires telling me when I am wrong at times.
I love it when they challenge me about whether I have taken the problem to the Lord first....because it shows me they truly care, about me & relationship with the Lord.
I may not love it at the time, but they understand that I will appreciate that more when I'm not so caught up 'in the moment.'
A lot of people could sit and sympathize with me and tell me how right I am to feel hurt by things, but to me a true friend will challenge me to grow from the situation and encourage me to trust the Lord, even if it hurts.
This kind of friendship is true edification, for both myself & the other person.
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe
yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and
patience. Make
allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.
Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
{Colossians 3:12-13}
We are called to have a different reaction to each other than what the world tells us.
We are not to get angry quickly even if someone was insensitive, we are to be full of patience. Making allowances for their faults, and forgiving them.
That last verse hits me the hardest, the Lord has forgiven me...so I must forgive others.
'When both individuals are seeking to live a life that is all about Jesus, it will naturally result in a desire to make the friendship one in which they not only get more of Jesus, but become more like Him as well. A friendship that purposefully makes Him the center and draws both people close to Him will become a beautiful testimony of patient graciousness, humble servitude, and selfless love - spurring others on toward that same single-hearted pursuit.'
{Leslie Ludy - Set-Apart Friendship Part 2, Set Apart Girl Magazine}
Our security comes from Christ alone. He is able to make us whole and complete.
He is able to love us perfectly, like no-one on this earth can. Not even a husband.
May those difficult relationships remind us of that beautiful truth.
And those beautiful friendships.....well we are Blessed, friends.
Well this may be one of the harder posts within the 'On my heart' series that I have felt the desire to write. I find that with a lot of this series really.
This post is particularly hard as it involves revealing major sin in my own life, ways in which I still need to grow.
Hopefully the message is worth hearing though, so stick with me for now.
During our 18-months as husband & wife, A & I have managed to develop a wonderful habit of reading good books together. We started reading 'The First 90 days of Marriage' by Eric and Leslie Ludy, venturing on to a variety of material which has been amazing and so thought-provoking.
This habit has us currently reading through 'Love and Respect' By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.
I can't sing this book's praises enough!
We have been reading through it for a while due to its length and intense (at times) content.
(Totally not trying to put you off it though...really!)
The last chapter we read was about an area that wives really should work on with regard to listening to the counsel of our husbands.
So many things within the chapter hit home for me.
While these are based around the marriage relationship, there are many things in here which can be applied to any relationship in our lives.
Allow me to share a few with you.
(I am by no means an expert at anything marriage related,
so I share as one at the beginning of this season in life....)
When you focus on negative attributes in your husband, you ignore a lot of ability and insight which he does possess.
How easy is it to focus on the sin in someone's life, all the while trying to cover up and excuse our own. We feel that those around us are the ones who need correcting and ask God to reveal sin in other's lives to them. We pray for Him to help them see their errors, all the while making excuses (even to the Lord!) about our own sin. I, at times, am ashamed to admit that I do the same to my husband.
Many wives, myself included, feel at times that our husbands have
little to teach us or little wisdom to contribute to a problem.
This is confirmed in
the book, Love and Respect, by the author when he recalls many couples
he has counselled. When truly honest with ourselves, I am sure a lot of
wives would agree with this statement. For me this is probably linked to focus on negative attributes.
Do not fall into the trap of feeling that because your husband appears unloving or uncaring, his ideas are not worth listening to.
How easy a trap this is to fall into in any relationship. When we believe the best about others, we trust that each person close to us has goodwill towards us. In the vast majority of my own experiences I have seen that A never tries to be unloving or uncaring. In fact, in most of these scenarios, he doesn't even realise he is coming across that way at all!
We need to understand that our husbands have wise insight. They are not seeking to be unloving in gently correcting us!
Do not hinder your husband or your relationship by having a false idea that you are more spiritually mature or wise than your husband.
By doing this, we are able to instill a fear in our husband that he won't be able to say the 'right' thing in a conversation. Even if we don't mean to give this impression, it can be done. If we do have this attitude (even without meaning to) we can cause him to shut down in a conversation and say nothing. Of course, usually we then allow this behavior to hurt us further, thinking that it confirms we are more mature.
Women may be naturally intuitive, but do not fail to appreciate insight from your husband, given to you by God. We need our husbands to see some things clearly despite our own intuition.
My husband sees things in such a different way than I do. This is a good thing. It is God's way of allowing me to see things from a different perspective sometimes. This is so wonderful when I have a problem which feels so huge and overpowering to me, A gives me perspective to see this problem is really not as big as I think it is. I am just letting it be that big.
(One example of this at work in my life)
Do not judge your husband with contempt. It is dishonoring to the Lord.
In the same way, you
wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some
refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them
without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.
(1 Peter 3:1-2)
Sometimes I find myself believeing this verse says we must accept their authority, when they deserve it. But re-read it again. Nope, no conditions for this are mentioned.
Do you have an attitude of self-righteouness? Do you see his faults & mistakes easily? Do you want him to change & think of yourself as better, without the need of change?
'What I see happening in some marriages is that the wife believes - or appears to believe - that she does not sin. In many other marriages the only sin that a wife will readily admit to is her negative reaction to her husband's failure to be loving or for losing patience with the children. Beyond these areas, women do not see themselves as sinning, even though they readily admit to bad habits and wrong attitudes. They write these off to chemical imbalance, hormonal problems, or dysfunction due to family of origin.'
~ Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Let us not fall into this trap, friends.
I will admit I struggle with a lot of these things.
Sure, my husband may have many things to work on, as do I.
He may not have to work on the same things as I do. But you can be sure there are things which he excels in that I really need help with.
Let's not allow self-righteousness to destroy any relationships in our lives.
We are all sinners, saved by God's grace alone.
Let us give our husband's the respect & authority which is rightly theirs,
not wait until we feel they have earned it.
