Learning how to Love others....not close ourselves off to one another.

She asked me if I had a minute, as I sat outside on a balcony during a humid evening on our trip. I think I was probably journalling at the time. She took a seat next to me and I set down my journal ready to listen to her.
'I just wanted to let you know that I admire you. You are the person I wish I was. You have made some good decisions in your life and I wish I had done the same.'
I then started to explain to her 'Oh girl, if only you knew half of the sin in my life and junk that is going on through my mind about so many things...'
'Just stop!' she replied. 'I don't want us to be close. I just wanted you to know I admire you.'
There wasn't much left for me to say except thank her for her honesty.
She looked relieved and walked away leaving me confused.


I don't understand how some people are able to sit and bond with you while others seem to keep you at arm's length. I have tried to figure out similarities between people who are open & those who aren't. But I can't really find any.
I'm puzzled by how sometimes a person will form an opinion about you but not want to get to know you better. Even if they tell you they admire you.

I guess sometimes I just need to be giving people grace. Grace to be where they are at on their journey and in their walk with the Lord. Grace where there is still room for growth.
There are going to be times when we encounter people who are further ahead than us and wiser in some areas of life. Sometimes they will be the ones who are behind and need encouragement. 


I'm beginning to understand how precious an opportunity it is to learn from those who are further ahead than us, rather than be frustrated or turned away by how wise they are. As well as how we need to be encouragement to those who are further behind, they need those words to hear how rewarding that path ahead is when we work through sin and other issues.
There is so much to be learnt from someone further ahead, learning from their wisdom and past mistakes....hearing what they would have done differently. Get to know them, for its likely they will encourage you with their stories and thoughts.
That's my experience anyway.


What I never want to do friends, is close myself off from others. Especially those who are wise and full of insight with trials I am going through.

Sometimes it is particularly nice to have friends who are side by side with you at a stage in life. They are easy to relate to, they totally understand where you are at and its likely that you mutually move back and forth between being the encourager and being the recipient. I am praying that I don't seek this kind of friendship over any of the others though just because it is easier.
Honestly it is easier to be moving in and out of those roles, but its no more valuable than befriending someone younger to encourage or someone older who is wise.


Don't be discouraged with where God has you friends and don't close yourself off from learning from others. I am fully convinced that there is something to be learnt from everyone, even if its how not to be or act. Even if they are in completely different life situations also.
People can totally be from different walks of life and be able to learn from one another and encourage one another.
Several of my best friends are living proof of that. One of them has grown up and spent her whole life in the United States. The other is Indian by culture but lived her whole life in the Middle East.
While I myself am a British-born girl who spent her childhood in continental Europe and her teenage years with the camels (just kidding it was the middle east though).
I am the only one of the three of us who is married. But I tell you though the ways these two friends encourage me and inspire me to love the Lord is incredible. God has graciously brought all three of us through similar situations. Things we would not have known without daring to be close to one another.

Some friendships definitely take more work than others. We are all so different and sometimes those personalities can clash a little as well. But often the fruit from that labour is sweeter. For in battling the harder things, you may just grow more and learn how to really love others.

So friends, let us not give up learning from each other or write another person off based on age, influence, culture or place in our walk with the Lord.

I am working on becoming a dispenser of Grace (although I'm not very good at it) and seeking to learn from others, even those people I find hard to love at times.

Anyone want to join me?

Much Love,

L

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." 

— C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves) 

{Pictures taken at the Getty Center in LA, not related to the story at the beginning}