Image Map
Showing posts with label preparation for marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label preparation for marriage. Show all posts

Monday, 18 March 2013

A Love Story. Maybe its Ours. Part 1.




I don't know about you guys, but I really feel like I should be having  more girly evenings. Just this desire to sit down with girly magazines, do eat others hair, watch a girly movie or even just hang out and talk. Perhaps its because I've done a bunch of hanging with the hubby and some of his friends lately. Or maybe just that I'm more of a girly girl than I thought I was haha. Or just that I'm in desperate need of a manicure ;)


I'm not sure if this should become a weekly thing too. A girly night here in this little space. Wouldn't it be awesome if the comments section became like a chatting place. Sorry dreaming moment there.
As you can probably tell I get these random dreaming moments or moments of inspiration as I like to call them. 


Anyway, just wondering if you guys had any suggestions on topics for girly evenings? Things you want to talk about together? And I say that cause I would love to talk with you guys and not at you guys too :) 
I felt the desire to share our love story for the first time this evening. And if you were here, I would probably pull out the scrapbooks ;)
Not sure how far I'll get but I will go ahead and start. I've been meaning to share for a while how God scripted our story and just haven't got to it. 
So if you're at a point in life where this won't be encouraging, feel free to stop reading here.
I don't want to discourage anyone, I just want to share how the Lord brought us together to praise His goodness in that and to encourage those of you who are waiting, that God does hear us when we pray and write beautiful love stories.

(I will add that obviously this is all from my point of view, 
for A's version....well I guess you'd have to ask him.....)


So here's possibly why I put this off haha! Because in my opinion, the story starts here.
In the awkward pre-teen new girl stage. I had just moved from another country where I had been really comfortable. I had been in a school I loved and had a group of friends who I was close to, then we moved. And not like one of your few hours away kind of moves, but more like a different part of the world, new continent type of move. So there was no possible chance I was going to see these friends on a regular basis, if ever again. Time took my group of friends to literally the four corners of the globe, so you get the idea haha. 

So I had just moved to this new place and the new church we started going to had an Awana club, including a Jr high group. So my sister and I started going and there we met some pretty cool people. Many of whom we would grow up with of the next few years.

One of which was this guy:
(Totally asked his permission before posting btw)

And yeah, well I will confess that even at thirteen. I liked him. He seemed like a nice guy, not that we were going to date or anything like that. But lets just say I totally had a crush on him back then. 
So if you skip several awkward years of being friends, me having a bit of a crush on him. But never knowing each other that well as he was homeschooled and I went to school, we only saw each other at Awana. Then we also went to youth group together, having several of the same friends. It wasn't as though there were many kids our age. 
So my last year of high school and the year after (I took a gap year after high school), we hung out with our friends and started to get to know each other well.
Mutually liking what we saw in the other person.


I had begun praying about what I wanted in a husband someday when I was sixteen. I also began reading several books like I kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy, but didn't really have any idea at this point what to do with dating. A's parents had thought a lot about those things beforehand and really advocated no dating in high school. And looking back I am so glad they shared their wisdom with us. 
(I would highly recommend those books, even if you don't agree with everything...they are worth reading and make you think! I would also advocate while in high school figuring out what your thoughts on about dating before you meet a guy you like!)     


I knew A when I wrote what I was looking for in a husband, but we weren't super close. In fact I had several other crushes in between meeting him and really liking him by the end of high school :)
So by the end of high school I pulled that list back out and his character was a lot like what I had been praying for, not 100% perfect though. 
After all we were still incredibly young and both planned on going to college.....in different countries. 
But by this point, we liked what we saw in each other and weren't sure what to do about it.


It was suggested to us, that because we were getting so close with no intention of being able to be engaged or marry anytime soon, that we stop talking on leaving for college in different countries. Instead just trusting that if the Lord wanted the two of us together, He would make that clear. So that we wouldn't continue to make something work that was never intended for where we were at in life. 
And I am SO glad we did. 


So summer before college, I said goodbye to my best friend, maybe for good.
Praying and trusting that God knew what He was doing, even if we didn't have a clue.


A few hours after the picture was taken, he got on a plane heading to the states to go to college.
I stayed home for the summer with multiple adventures (stories for another time) then headed to England in the fall for college.


But I might stop there for this evening friends! 





Pin It!

Monday, 20 February 2012

{On my Heart} Mondays. [Loving all the days of your life]

To love a spouse amid the flame of honeymoon passion is human,
but to love a spouse all the days of your life,
even before you ever lay eyes upon that person -
this kind of love is divine.
Eric & Leslie Ludy, A Perfect Wedding

Love begins way before your wedding day, even before you ever meet 'The One' the Lord has for you. 
Love, the way the world throws at us, sounds alluring but is so different to real Love.
Dating whomever you want - no committment so no hurt involved right? 
If you really 'love' someone, you will sleep with them. 
See where the relationship goes, if you guys don't like it, well that's ok - it was just dating!
Sounds so carefree and full of pleasure.
But the root of a lot of the world's version of love is selfishness
How the other person completes us, how they make us feel, how they satisfy us 'in the moment'.
We stop wanting to be a part of the Love when we are not longer satisfied

Marriage thrives on a different kind of love, a divine kind.
We only have to look at scripture to understand it is nothing like what the world defines as love.

'Love is patient and kind. 
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
 It does not demand its own way.
 It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, 
and endures through every circumstance.'
{1 Corinthians 13: 4-7}


'A Poetic love is a selfless love.
It's noble, it's pure, it's tender, it's dignified, it's grand....
it's heavenly.
We all have our moments of selfless nobilioty, but poetic love isn't a one-time heroic deed. 
Rather, it's a lifelong lifestyle of romantic service to our spouse.'
Eric & Leslie Ludy, A Perfect Wedding

One of the most beautiful ways of keeping romance alive in marriage is thinking of the other person. Being mindful of their needs.
This can start before you are married.
If you are single, you are still able to be mindful of the one that the Lord has planned for you.
You can care for them by loving them all your days.

How can you possibly love them all your days? You mean before you even know them.
That's what I am proposing!

When you are not married and the Lord hasn't yet shown you the one He has for you, there is an incredibly opportunity to still love them in waiting.
You can write them love notes or even songs as well as not allowing access to the inner depths of your heart to any guy who shows interest.
It is not a bad thing for a guy to work for your heart.
A man who is truly seeking God will work for the priviledge of knowing your heart.


I started a book of notes when I went to college, I will have to explain our story fully sometime to explain the beauty behind what the Lord was doing in my life. (I know I keep saying this.)
I had surrendered a relationship to the Lord and was not dating.
I did not have anyone pursuing me as much as I wanted that to be happening.
I bought a book and started writing letters to my future husband.
I wrote in that book through to the night before my wedding day.
It was such a wonderful gift to give to A.
I won't share with you any of the content as it is reserved for his eyes only - but it was my gift to him of the inner depths of my heart.
I wrote dreams in there, letters & prayers...when he did appear on the scene and we did not want to discuss any 'heavy' topics initially those went in there too.
I was able to pour my heart out in those letters, freely.
I wanted him to see my love for him all those days even when I was not sure who he was.


Even if you feel you didn't start early enough, or you are already in a relationship.
Why not start anyway
I have several amazing friends who started this so much earlier than I did.
But it was still beautiful even though I only wrote in my book for a few short years.

'God never wastes a test of patience.'
  Eric Ludy

'Restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on Him who has all things safely in His hands.'
― Elisabeth Elliot

The point I am trying to make is the importance of selfless love.
Sacrifice before you are married, builds sacrifice in marriage.
Patience now helps you to be more of a grace-dispenser in marriage.


'Before you get married, learn to give everything - 
and learn to give as if giving were the greatest pleasure, 
because it is. 
Learn to stop figuring out what you should be getting out of the deal. 
Learn to give without a required payback. 
Learn to give simply because God has given so much to you.'
― Eric & Leslie Ludy, A Perfect Wedding

Learning to give selflessly for me, is also a way to be content.
There is nothing like focusing on someone else to help you see what truly matters.
That you and your problems are really not that big.

Even if you have made mistakes in the past, God is a redemptive God.
He is able to wash your slate clean, wash you literally white as snow.
He frees us from our past enabling us to start living for Him today.
Live to glorify Him with your love life.
Trust him to show you the prince He has for you.
Show the Lord that you trust Him by living devoted to that prince all the days of your life.

Much Love,
L


Pin It!