//The Fear of a God-Written Love Story//

Earlier this year, I started sharing our love story. Rather God's story in bringing us together. It really is truly written by Him, not one I could have ever dreamed up on my own. 
(For the first part see here)


You may be wondering how this is relevant to exploring passions and figuring out those pieces. Well one thing I am passionate about is trusting the Lord for the provision of your future spouse. Trusting Him that if He has planned marriage for you in order to glorify Him, He will bring it about in a perfect way only He can. We don't need to date a ton of frogs to find that earthly prince. (While we need to hold onto that dream, we may also need to hold onto our realistic picture of marriage with the other hand....but that's for another time) 
There are so many ways we can actively be trusting, I don't believe that this is an entirely passive process. But it is one that we need to be willing to surrender.  
So I am dusting off these posts I hid under the bed and pulling them out, its time to be fearless and trust God!


While I so see the Lord's fingerprints in the story of how we met and eventually got married, it is also one of the hardest ones for me to share. Part of me, I think, is believing the lies again when it comes to this part of my life. You see, having a heart for purity & singleness for so long, I struggle with gratitude at times over this gift of marriage. I struggle with no longer feeling able to reach those girls with whom I used to have an amazing connection based on my relationship status. Whom I used to be able to encourage, because I was single. 


I really am SO thankful for this story the Lord scripted for us, but I struggle to share it even despite its beauty. I worry that there will be a young woman reading who will suddenly find herself discontent in her waiting & gift of singleness. That by my sharing our joy, she will suddenly feel longing instead of contentment. That my sharing will be misinterpreted for boasting or 'rubbing it in.' 
(The Lord has really been speaking to me about not trying to control the reactions of others, to be encouraging, sensitive and above reproach, but to just trust Him and just be obedient!) 


So very slowly (I did start writing this in March!) He has led me to now believe that by writing this precious story for you friends, is more like sharing a gift. 
It is part of encouraging those girls who are dear to my heart. 
It is one that speaks hope into the lives of young girls. It shows that precious love stories do very much exist they are in all the lives of those who find themselves married. That by my attitude of ingratitude toward this story, I am without intending to saying to God I don't want this gift of marriage. Which is far from the truth. 


So while it is unlikely that your own story looks or might someday look anything like ours, 
I will share to praise our heavenly Father. 
To share that He is good and to show proof that He hears our prayers and heart's desires. Never doubt that! 


I pray for you sweet friend. 
That you are able to see love stories as God's reminder of how He is capable of writing one for you.
You are not forgotten by Him. 
(I felt that way when friends around me were marrying.)
So out of obedience and nothing else, I will share to encourage you ladies....but before I do I want to remind you that this is a far cry from the greatest love story in my life. 
(Which my sweet hubby is well aware of! And fully supportive of!) 
Because this story I will embark on telling (while shaking with fear) only flourished and continues to do so, by seeking my first Love. 


Only when I am seeking my prince's face to fill me am I capable of showing grace to the One He has given me to serve Him & do life with. 
I am a sinner. I married a sinner.

But through both of us seeking Him, God is able to make something beautiful out of the mess.
   

'Proud people are concerned with being respectable, with what others think; they work to protect their own image and reputation. Broken people are concerned with being real; what matters to them is not what others think but what God knows; they are willing to die to their own reputation.




Proud people find it difficult to share their spiritual need with others.

Broken people are willing to be open and transparent with others as God directs.

Proud people want to be sure that no one finds out when they have

sinned; their instinct is to cover up.

Broken people, once broken, don’t care who knows or who finds out; they

are willing to be exposed because they have nothing to lose.'




(Via)

This post is part of my 31 day series for the month of October, 
fighting through the fears and sharing the confusing passions I have. 
Hoping to figure out the bigger picture of all these interests.