I don't know where you currently find yourself relationship wise friends. But when I was single (read here) I found it really hard. I felt left out of some activities as friends who were dating would go on double-dates and hangout together, I watched other peers get married before me, or even just be in a relationship. It was hard.
They were hard days. (That's part of why I have such a heart for encouraging single girls!)
You know something else? I still find it hard now. The other side of marriage. Its hard being married a few years and have no children yet. Hard being left out of other activities like a group of single girls hanging out because you are married.
I've read several articles recently on how there is a lack of singles ministry within churches and how the church should cater better to their individual needs.
And I wholeheartedly agree.
But perhaps not in the form of ministries.
Because while I think we need to be better at loving on our singles, I also think we should cater better to the needs of the lonely grandmother, the unexpected widow, the woman struggling in her marriage, the lonely newlywed, the girl in high school feeling pressured to have a physical relationship, the girl who feels unloved, the mom with small kids who finds it hard to make it through a single day.
I don't think we need ministries for all these groups of women. There is a bigger problem in the church.
I think we need more love. More Jesus.
More empathy. More hands and feet willing to come alongside them and love on them.
More ears ready to listen to the thoughts, ready to make them feel their words have importance, that how they feel matters, more hands ready to help where needed.
More hearts ready to sympathize, more knees ready to bend in prayer.
Less focus on ourselves and more focus on each other.
Don't misunderstand me, I think ministries for each of these groups are so valuable. But I don't think they are the purpose of a church. The church is a community.
We just need more love for one another.
This post is part of my 31 day series for the month of October,
fighting through the fears and sharing the confusing passions I have.
Hoping to figure out the bigger picture of all these interests.
Amen! Beautiful post, glad to have found your blog! You are absolutely correct about focusing on LOVE and RELATIONSHIPS in ministries instead of labeling (ughh, who likes labels anyway?!) groups of people according to their gender, marital status, or their current "life" situation. Our churches need more love ... churches need more Jesus. Amen. Amen. Amen.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your kind words friend! I was so nervous about this post and wasn't sure that anyone would understand where I was coming from =) So thankyou for your precious reassurance! Agreed!!! We totally all just need to focus on loving each other, not receiving that love either! =) Much Love!!!
DeleteWholeheartedly agree. I'm single at this point in my life (hoping it's not forever, but if it is, it is) and I love that my church has just started a single ladies group (we're small, only about 8 of us or so), but I also feel like just having a woman in general group is good as well so that we don't feel the constant need to separate ourselves into groups like singles, young mothers, newlyweds, etc. Yep, we need more love for all, and definitely more Jesus! :)
ReplyDeleteOh that's so awesome Kelly! What a HUGE blessing for you guys =) =)
DeleteWe have a similar thing going on in our church and I really want us to stay mixed, I learn so much from other women in such different walks of life. Especially those further ahead and with several children and its so hard to get to know them when everything is segregated =) =)
Much Love friend!