//In His Time//

One of the biggest frustrations in life currently & one of the mysteries among these pieces of passions is being caught in an 'in between' stage. No longer single, married for a few years, but not for long enough to feel as though I have much to contribute regarding advice on marriage. 


There is this strange stage where you aren't fresh from the honeymoon anymore, but you don't fit in with those battling sleepless nights and the joys of raising little ones.
(Although I do totally understand this to an extent with the job I have and the opportunities we have had to have children for an entire weekend on several occasions) 
You've learnt how to communicate and realise just how bad you were at it when you got married. Figured out a flow to life as a married couple, but you haven't experienced a decade or so of this new adventure. 


It can be frustrating. Feeling stuck. Being called into the waiting period. 


Called out to be grown, changed and molded. Outside of the plan we had for ourselves, but inside the plan the Lord had for us all along.
Our timing for a family is outside what our plans were, but we are trusting we are still inside God's plan & timing.  
Our timing for our financial situation was almost the complete opposite of what we had expected from our dating days, but again we are trusting in God's plan & timing. 
Our housing situation was nothing like I could have imagined, but He always provided for us and it was His plan all along.


Even though there are so many more things I could list that were or still are outside my own plan, perhaps that is the point.....it was my own plan or our own plan.
Where God had another, far better plan than we could imagine. 


As winter is approaching which always seems to be a harder season for many reasons, I am actually finding myself at peace trusting that God has a plan. 
For the first time, I don't think I do. 
I'm still praying for answers to prayers we have had for years now and for the Lord's timing on many dreams of ours. 
But not to hope in my own timelines or ideals. 
And daily trying to trust that He hears us, He loves us & He has a plan! 

Print via Lily&Val Etsy Store

When do you think you stop being a newlywed? I previously asked this on my instagram & got some great responses =) 

This post is part of my 31 day series for the month of October, 
fighting through the fears and sharing the confusing passions I have. 
Hoping to figure out the bigger picture of all these interests.

//More Love//

I don't know where you currently find yourself relationship wise friends. But when I was single (read here) I found it really hard. I felt left out of some activities as friends who were dating would go on double-dates and hangout together, I watched other peers get married before me, or even just be in a relationship. It was hard. 


They were hard days. (That's part of why I have such a heart for encouraging single girls!)


You know something else? I still find it hard now. The other side of marriage. Its hard being married a few years and have no children yet. Hard being left out of other activities like a group of single girls hanging out because you are married. 


I've read several articles recently on how there is a lack of singles ministry within churches and how the church should cater better to their individual needs. 
And I wholeheartedly agree. 
But perhaps not in the form of ministries.


Because while I think we need to be better at loving on our singles, I also think we should cater better to the needs of the lonely grandmother, the unexpected widow, the woman struggling in her marriage, the lonely newlywed, the girl in high school feeling pressured to have a physical relationship, the girl who feels unloved, the mom with small kids who finds it hard to make it through a single day. 

I don't think we need ministries for all these groups of women. There is a bigger problem in the church.


I think we need more love. More Jesus.
More empathy. More hands and feet willing to come alongside them and love on them.
More ears ready to listen to the thoughts, ready to make them feel their words have importance, that how they feel matters, more hands ready to help where needed. 
More hearts ready to sympathize, more knees ready to bend in prayer.

Less focus on ourselves and more focus on each other.


Don't misunderstand me, I think ministries for each of these groups are so valuable. But I don't think they are the purpose of a church. The church is a community. 


We just need more love for one another. 

This post is part of my 31 day series for the month of October, 
fighting through the fears and sharing the confusing passions I have. 
Hoping to figure out the bigger picture of all these interests.