[Letters on the Power of Words: Part I] Being an Encouragement.

Dear Younger Version of Myself,

I feel the need to share with you things I wish you knew already....things that I had hoped wouldn't take you so long to learn. 

Things that even at an older age, you feel you havn't grasped well-enough & can't learn fast enough.

I decided to organise my thoughts into a little mini-series of letters as there was too much content for one letter....

'Did you know that, on average, each of us speaks about twenty-five thousand words daily?' 

~ C.J. Mahaney, Humility

That is quite an interesting, thought-provoking quote. The Lord has been drawing my attention lately to how important my words are. He has really been working in my heart showing me how my words are capable of doing so much good when I encourage. But equally so harmful when I use them carelessly.

As you can probably tell from the quote, I have been reading through the book Humility by C.J.Mahaney again. I read it once before quite a while ago, however I picked it up again recently and since have read it another three times. There is just so much to take in, anyone else do that with good books?

One of his chapters is all about the power of words, conversation skills....whether our speech is really in line with God's intended purpose for it or reflecting pride within ourselves.

I have found this super challenging! I've been really thinking about how my words affect those around me.

You know that old English Nursery Rhyme you've known since you were little, L:

'Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But words will never hurt me.''

 

 Whoever wrote that phrase....totally got it wrong.

Because words totally hurt. They damage.

Some of the worst hurts in life so far have been the unkind words of another person.

'The tongue has the power of life and death,
    and those who love it will eat its fruit.' 

{Proverbs 18:21}

'Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear..'

{Ephesians 4:29}  

Isn't that challenging!!! 'Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth'

....no specific time and place mentioned. 

It doesn't say except when people frustrate you....

or except when the person you are talking about is not around! 

The Lord has been nudging me to really be careful with my words even in these situations.

Even when I am frustrated.

If I am talking with a friend about someone else (when an offense has happened),

 I have begun to ask myself how I would feel if that person could hear what I am saying.

Tearing someone down, even when they aren't there is far from edifying (encouraging)...

it shows my heart toward them is far from loving and could even taint my friend's opinion of the person. 

 

The Lord has just graciously been showing me that negative speech, which is so easy for all of us, is not in line with Ephesians 4:29. 

It is not edifying to the friend listening either to tear another person down.

This does not mean that the only words to ever come out of your mouth will be always polite or flattery. But also truth. 

I am learning you can talk truth without tearing someone down.

It requires a lot of heart checks and grace dispensing. 

(See later letter for further thoughts on this topic.)

 

As I drove to meet a dear friend last week for a lunch date

 (you havn't yet met this precious girl, L). 

I started to pray that the Lord would use me in our conversation. 

That He would show me what He longed for me to say or how to respond while talking. 

There was no previous conflict or anything.

 I just prayed that He would use that conversation to edify her and encourage her in her walk with Him. 

I have been learning to seek wisdom from the Lord in conversations on what the other person needs to hear.

 Do they need to be encouraged? 

Do they need me to just listen? (a skill I am desperately trying to be better at)  

Do they need to be helped practically? 

How would I best be able to do that? 

Do they need to be reminded of forgiveness?

I am still a novice at this. But I am so thankful the Lord has been teaching me how to be encouraging.

I have no idea if I was an encouragement in that situation with my precious friend over lunch. 

But I hope I allowed the Lord to work in some way.

Being an encouragement is something so close to my heart.

I long to encourage you with my words here also. 

My prayer for you is that these words would do just that.

Much Love,

L

P.S. Letter to come on venting next....