A Quick Note, A Heavy Heart.

This is me just leaving a quick note, without embellishments.

In light of the shooting which I'm sure all of you have heard about, I did not do a regular post on Friday.

My heart was simply very heavy for the families who are currently going through something I can't even begin to try and understand.

So instead of posting about a trivial thing, I made the decision not to post.

This morning our pastor preached a message on John chapter 19-20.

Where Peter and John find the tomb emptied after Christ has been crucified, 

'Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came early to the tomb, while it was still dark, and saw the stone already taken away from the tomb. So she ran and came to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him.” So Peter and the other disciple went forth, and they were going to the tomb. The two were running together; and the other disciple ran ahead faster than Peter and came to the tomb first; and stooping and looking in, he saw the linen wrappings lying there; but he did not go in. And so Simon Peter also came, following him, and entered the tomb; and he saw the linen wrappings lying there, and the face-cloth which had been on His head, not lying with the linen wrappings, but rolled up in a place by itself. So the other disciple who had first come to the tomb then also entered, and he saw and believed. For as yet they did not understand the Scripture, that He must rise again from the dead. So the disciples went away again to their own homes.'

{John 20:1-8, emphasis mine}

Our pastor pointed out that the disciples who came to the tomb saw and believed but did not understand. 

This sits with me in light of the shootings, that while I don't understand the purpose of why this has happened.

God is still in control. 

He still has a plan.

I choose to still believe that, even if I don't understand.

Please be in prayer for the many families affected by Friday's tragedy.

Much Love,

L

P.S. I will be away for the next few days with my hubby, seeking God and celebrating marriage.

Happy to be Home.

Thankful//to be home after the Influence Conference.

My heart is full and I can't wait to share with you guys all about the Conference.
Until I get a chance to start writing about it all....
enjoy some pictures.

More to come on this AMAZING company later. I so want to show you want they are doing to help vulnerable women! Its awesome! 

Meeting these two lovely ladies were two of the highlights of my entire trip.

Casey Wiegand//These Happy Times

 Then there was this time we were in Chicago hanging out. And had more Starbucks in one week than I usually have in a month.

TasteandSee//SweetnessItself//WhatSheSaw

More to come when I have settled at home and edited the pictures.

Much Love,

L

Priorities {Guest Post by Courtney from Baxtron Life}

Hey Ladies, As my house and life are still a little chaotic....

I am leaving you with a couple of AMAZING guest posters this week.

Enjoy! And I will be back up and running this weekend hopefully.

Much Love,

L

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

by Kristin Smith

Finding balance in my life 

has always been a

challenge.

I'm the kind of person that takes on a lot,

even when maybe 

I shouldn't.

I know I'm not superwoman,

and 

I know how to say 

"No."

It often seems that 

just when I think I have everything

under control

something always 

tips the scale 

in the other direction.

But, the truth

lies in my 

priorities.

Often when things feel like

chaos,

I find that I've allowed my priorities to

shift out of their rightful order.

I've stopped 

keeping the first thing

first.

Lately,

it's been 

Writing, Family, then God.

And it's not working 

for me.

by Andrea Brancaccio

I know what I must do.

I've discovered the 

secret:

Time spent 

with 

God

is time

multiplied.

When my priorities are right

there is

harmony.

When there is harmony,

there is 

rest.

Is your life in balance

or are you 

struggling

amidst the chaos?

The Lord says:

"Come to me, 

all you who are weary and burdened, 

and I will give you rest.  

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, 

for I am gentle and humble in heart, 

and you will find rest for your souls.  

For my yoke is easy and 

my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

by Jesse Therrien

***  

I'm Courtney, a wife, mama and writer. 

My blog Baxtron{Life} is a place where I share everything that I love, lots of pictures of life in NYC with our little family of three, daily musings, fun link-ups and some of the real struggles of my life.  

I would love to connect with you via: Twitter, Facebook or Email! Come say hello!

Allowing God to Satisfy.

When I was thirteen, I couldn't wait to be kissed. 

It sounded so exciting and so grown up.

Not to mention that everyone else in middle school had started pairing off into relationships, well as much as those were 'relationships.' 

Suddenly who was kissing who became a really hot topic among the girls I was friends with. 

I was really frustrated with the fact that no boy was interested in me enough to want to kiss me back then. 

When I was sixteen, the feelings of wanting to be kissed intensified. 

I began to question whether I was normal or desirable because no boy had even tried to get close to me romantically. I watched friends all around me enter into what seemed (at the time) such beautiful romantic relationships. I thought if I finally had a guy who liked me back, I would be normal and complete. Then there would be someone who was exclusively mine.

We are totally made with this desire for companionship.

A desire to be known by another romantically and intimately.

I struggled in high school with feeling lonely and hopeless. I was single but it certainly wasn't by choice back then.

I had accepted Christ as my Savior at a young age, 

and even rededicated my life back to him at thirteen. 

I was still growing in my relationship with the Lord, but I had yet to grasp an important concept. 

The problem was I was looking for identity and fulfillment in all the wrong places.

My soul felt lonely and I had thought that a relationship with a guy my own age would fill that hole. I thought that a special relationship was what I needed to complete that loneliness and emptiness deep within me. 

Then I wouldn't feel those negative feelings anymore, I would fit in with all the other girls my age.

Truth is I did need a relationship, just not the kind I thought.

I needed my completeness to come from the Only One who would ever be able to give it to me.

Jesus.

Only He loves perfectly.

'No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, 

nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, 

nor anything else in all creation, 

will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.'

Romans 8:37-39 

'In this the love of God was made manifest among us, 

that God sent his only Son into the world, 

so that we might live through him. 

In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us 

and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.'

1 John 4:9-11 

Only He never fails me.

See entire of Psalm 136 here.

'Even youths grow tired and weary,

    and young men stumble and fall; 

but those who hope in the Lord

    will renew their strength. 

They will soar on wings like eagles; 

    they will run and not grow weary,

    they will walk and not be faint.'

{Isaiah 40:31-31}

Only He is with me always me.

'Where can I go from your Spirit?

    Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

    if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me, 

    your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

    and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

    the night will shine like the day,

    for darkness is as light to you.'

{Psalm 139:7-12} 

As I grew older, I understood these beautiful truths more and more. The more I learnt these, the more He began to satisfy me. I came to realize that I am only complete when I seek Jesus to fill me and satisfy.

This is truth regardless of a relationship with a significant other.

Graciously the Lord began to teach these truths to me toward the end of my high school years.

Those days of loneliness served a wonderful purpose of turning me to the one who then captured my heart forever.

He began to show me in my senior year of high school and the year that followed, that He is the one I need to run to, no-one else.

Believe me when I tell you girls, I tried to look elsewhere for a long time.

I tried going to a guy I liked, I tried looking to my friends for comfort and fulfillment, I tried running to my parents for the love and affection I was craving, I tried in the relationship with my sister. 

Slowly God stripped all of those relationships away as I transitioned from living at home to living in a different city, a different country and went to college.

The summer of 2006 He truly got through to me, that He alone had to satisfy.

He paved a way for me to go on two different mission trips that summer and revealed his love to me in more ways than I can even remember.

He placed new people in my life who truly encouraged me and pointed me to Christ.

He started the process of learning (and sometimes relearning) that He is enough.

A lesson that is far from over.

He was enough when I felt I had lost my best friend for good after I moved back to England.

He was enough when I struggled and felt depressed because the pain from having my whole life changed was unbearable.

He was enough when I found myself in India unsure of the purpose of my presence.

He was enough when I felt Him call me on a trip to Africa which was due to depart in six days.

He was enough when I felt I would never find godly friends at college.

He was enough when my finances became a sudden mess, and financial support I thought I would receive fell through.

And when I thought through it all that I would never again be happy, He was enough.

He began to satisfy me fully.

To help me see that no other relationship in my life would ever be able to make me feel the way He could.

He filled that feeling of loneliness completely.

He filled the feelings of emptiness.

I see now as a married woman that this was an incredibly valuable lesson.

Loving my husband is only possible because of Christ's Love for me. As precious as my God-given marriage relationship is, I am never satisfied completely except through Jesus.

That significant person given to you will never satisfy you the way Jesus can.

They aren't supposed to.

Relationships in my life go so much smoother when my relationship with Jesus is being given the attention and intimacy it needs. When I am investing my time and energy into getting to know my prince, I don't look to my husband or friends for completeness.

When I do seek that love from others....they fail me.

Because they aren't able to love me the way He does.

Just as I can't perfectly love them in return.

I'm so glad now that Jesus broke my heart during those single years.

Because He pieced it back together and revealed to me my utter dependence on Him.

There is no perfect husband.

No perfect fiance.

No perfect boyfriend.

No perfect date.

Except for the one who creates them.

And he loves you.

Imagine that.

Much Love,

L 

Being Content with your Life.

Today was one of those super scorchers, like in the high 90s and super humid.

One of those days where I totally wish we had AC in the house, or hey the car would even work.

But since we don't and since I have the privilege of caring for two beautiful girls, I spent the day hanging out in the sprinklers, shrieking joyfully with a four year old and enjoying myself.

There's something so sweet about hanging with children.

They are content with little things.

They don't worry about being things, they know they are cared for.

I loved being reminded that even if I'm hot, I can run through a sprinkler.

Yes, my hair might get messy, but who's watching?

I can lie back in a hammock with two precious girls who share their thoughts and ideas, as we munch on blueberries and other good fruit.

I can enjoy brushing their hair and reading to them.

(Even the book I've read at least 20+ times already)

We tell stories over lunchtime, yes I have made up an entire series based around a strawberry called Sally.

We play Wii when it starts to pour with rain outside and enjoy the shelter of a house.

We take naps.

Then at the end of the day before heading out to be with the hubby, I get to lie in the grass and see what shapes the clouds make and laugh at silly jokes like:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he was running after a mouse......

(no idea)

I am learning that being content with life is a choice.

Although that day sounds just plain awesome.

There are moments in between which could be seen as difficult or negative.

Choosing what to take away from the events in a day can help you feel content or discontent.

It really is a choice.

I could choose to focus on what I don't have in life right now.

Like wanting to own a home, or a decent car that doesn't need regular work or 

even has working ac.

We don't have health insurance or even steady income sometimes.

But you know what. 

God provides.

If its something He has taught me since we got married (almost two years ago, can you believe it!) its He provides above and beyond our needs.

Always.

Although I could choose to focus on what I don't have......

I can also choose to focus on what I do have.

A year ago we moved into our first home together.

We had no furniture. Like literally.

Now, I'm wondering how in the world we are going to get all the furniture which was mostly given to us into a truck to move it elsewhere in a few weeks.

Just over a year ago, I was living in a different country to the hubby.....since then I think I have only been apart from him for a handful of nights.

I have no idea what your life is like girl.

I haven't walked your path.

But know that I care, God cares more.

I don't know what you are waiting on Him for or what you have been dreaming of since you were a little girl.

But I know that the Lord hears us when we cry out to Him.

That He has not forgotten those dreams you shared with Him.

But I also know several things the Lord shares with us about contentment:

'Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.'

{Hebrews 13:5}

'Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.'

{Philippians 4:11-13}

'Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.'

{1 Timothy 6:6-8}

'Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.'

{Matthew 6:31-33}

I have much to learn about being content.

I am sure a lot of the hardships in life are to bring about riches in our spiritual life. 

Even though those trials are so hard, they usually reap the most rewarding results.

I may not have any control over the trials in my life.

But I can choose to be content.

To be wholeheartedly where the Lord has me.

To trust Him.

Want to join me?

If you have burdens and need prayer for contentment.....

I would love to be able to pray for you.

You can email me (allgloriouswithinblog@gmail.com) or find me on twitter.

I would love to hear from you.

Much Love,

L

Joy in Storms.

The natural flow of life, 

the ups & downs, 

are all a wonderful part of what shapes us and moulds us. 

'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, 

who have been called according to his purpose.'

{Romans 8:28}

A wise pastor once told me, during a time of great difficulty in my life,
 to pray that God would make me content with the trials in my life.

For those trials although difficult, were teaching me and growing me SO much.

To really see those challenges as a refining process.

To understand that comfortable should not be my goal in life.

'Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,  

whenever you face trials of many kinds,  

 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.   

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, 

not lacking anything.'

{James 1:2-4} 

This can be such a hard concept when you are are in the midst of struggles and difficult situations.

I was hurt this past week by the action of another. 

My natural reaction was to try and hurt them back.

But as I have continued to pray and release it to God, the feelings of anger & bitterness have disappeared instead of taking root.

I have been able to respond lovingly in several situations despite previously wanting to hurt them in response.

This could only have been the Lord in my life.

Even though nothing is resolved in this situation or even remotely close to how I wish it would be, I find myself seeing good. Seeing an awareness of how to truly love others and deal with conflict. I feel the Lord continually speaking to me about these things.

How to be genuine.

Speak truth in Love.

Pour myself out for others.

Even when the response hurts.

I am continually pointed back to the cross.

Then so thankful.

I have had my eyes opened to see how Christ loves me even when my responses to Him are hurtful.

How much He still loves me.

He never gives up on me.

He continues to care.

How He loves.

 'Love is patient, love is kind. 

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,

 it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.....'
{1 Cor 13:4-8} 



My flesh hates this lesson because most of my life, I have graciously had friendship reciprocated.
Given love to others and had it given back.
And the older I get, the more I am learning this is a beautiful gift.
We can't control how people choose to treat us in return.

We shouldn't give love only to get it back in return.
This is a hard concept especially if like me, you like to be liked and treated nicely in return for love you give to others. 
But it's totally self-seeking to love in this way.
The only person I am truly loving in that situation is myself, because I want to be loved by others. That's my motivation for my actions.
Not genuine love for others.


I'm not saying we need to be doormats and continually hurt by friendships which are unhealthy. 
But we should really pray for those people. As well as keep our hearts open to relationship in the future should things be different. 
Continue to do whatever the Lord asks of us in order to pursue healthy relationship.
 Only with the Lord's help will this be possible.
Because it truly is SO hard.

May we continue to see our differences as beautiful expressions of God's grace rather than an excuse to not try and get along. 
Or conclude we are too different to make the effort.


I want to remember that although they are a sinner.
I am too.
That I am loved by God.
They are too.
And we are called to love as He does.


'Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. 
Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  
This is how God showed his love among us: 
He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 
 This is love: not that we loved God, 
but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  
Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.  
No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, 
God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.' 
{1 John 4:7-12}

I don't know the details of your life situations, just like there are only one or two who know the details of mine......but know that I am cheering you on in your trials, girls! 
If we were having an intimate conversation, I would encourage you to keep pursuing the Lord.
Keeping seeking for His heart for others! 
Keep wanting that sacrificial love for others, even when its hard.
 Keep wanting Christ to be known. 


Life is about more than comfort.
There is great joy to be found in seeing good in a storm.

{via}

 

{via} 

 Much Love,
L
  

Photo credit: Louise Randall (unless otherwise stated) 
Pictures of me and my besties in college.

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I have decided to discontinue the {On My Heart} mondays series because with a few exceptions, 
most of my posts have taken on this tone.
So my whole blog is now sharing my heart & the things the Lord is teaching me.
Hope it encourages.