Allowing God to Satisfy.

When I was thirteen, I couldn't wait to be kissed. 

It sounded so exciting and so grown up.

Not to mention that everyone else in middle school had started pairing off into relationships, well as much as those were 'relationships.' 

Suddenly who was kissing who became a really hot topic among the girls I was friends with. 

I was really frustrated with the fact that no boy was interested in me enough to want to kiss me back then. 

When I was sixteen, the feelings of wanting to be kissed intensified. 

I began to question whether I was normal or desirable because no boy had even tried to get close to me romantically. I watched friends all around me enter into what seemed (at the time) such beautiful romantic relationships. I thought if I finally had a guy who liked me back, I would be normal and complete. Then there would be someone who was exclusively mine.

We are totally made with this desire for companionship.

A desire to be known by another romantically and intimately.

I struggled in high school with feeling lonely and hopeless. I was single but it certainly wasn't by choice back then.

I had accepted Christ as my Savior at a young age, 

and even rededicated my life back to him at thirteen. 

I was still growing in my relationship with the Lord, but I had yet to grasp an important concept. 

The problem was I was looking for identity and fulfillment in all the wrong places.

My soul felt lonely and I had thought that a relationship with a guy my own age would fill that hole. I thought that a special relationship was what I needed to complete that loneliness and emptiness deep within me. 

Then I wouldn't feel those negative feelings anymore, I would fit in with all the other girls my age.

Truth is I did need a relationship, just not the kind I thought.

I needed my completeness to come from the Only One who would ever be able to give it to me.

Jesus.

Only He loves perfectly.

'No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, 

nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, 

nor anything else in all creation, 

will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.'

Romans 8:37-39 

'In this the love of God was made manifest among us, 

that God sent his only Son into the world, 

so that we might live through him. 

In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us 

and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.'

1 John 4:9-11 

Only He never fails me.

See entire of Psalm 136 here.

'Even youths grow tired and weary,

    and young men stumble and fall; 

but those who hope in the Lord

    will renew their strength. 

They will soar on wings like eagles; 

    they will run and not grow weary,

    they will walk and not be faint.'

{Isaiah 40:31-31}

Only He is with me always me.

'Where can I go from your Spirit?

    Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

    if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me, 

    your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

    and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

    the night will shine like the day,

    for darkness is as light to you.'

{Psalm 139:7-12} 

As I grew older, I understood these beautiful truths more and more. The more I learnt these, the more He began to satisfy me. I came to realize that I am only complete when I seek Jesus to fill me and satisfy.

This is truth regardless of a relationship with a significant other.

Graciously the Lord began to teach these truths to me toward the end of my high school years.

Those days of loneliness served a wonderful purpose of turning me to the one who then captured my heart forever.

He began to show me in my senior year of high school and the year that followed, that He is the one I need to run to, no-one else.

Believe me when I tell you girls, I tried to look elsewhere for a long time.

I tried going to a guy I liked, I tried looking to my friends for comfort and fulfillment, I tried running to my parents for the love and affection I was craving, I tried in the relationship with my sister. 

Slowly God stripped all of those relationships away as I transitioned from living at home to living in a different city, a different country and went to college.

The summer of 2006 He truly got through to me, that He alone had to satisfy.

He paved a way for me to go on two different mission trips that summer and revealed his love to me in more ways than I can even remember.

He placed new people in my life who truly encouraged me and pointed me to Christ.

He started the process of learning (and sometimes relearning) that He is enough.

A lesson that is far from over.

He was enough when I felt I had lost my best friend for good after I moved back to England.

He was enough when I struggled and felt depressed because the pain from having my whole life changed was unbearable.

He was enough when I found myself in India unsure of the purpose of my presence.

He was enough when I felt Him call me on a trip to Africa which was due to depart in six days.

He was enough when I felt I would never find godly friends at college.

He was enough when my finances became a sudden mess, and financial support I thought I would receive fell through.

And when I thought through it all that I would never again be happy, He was enough.

He began to satisfy me fully.

To help me see that no other relationship in my life would ever be able to make me feel the way He could.

He filled that feeling of loneliness completely.

He filled the feelings of emptiness.

I see now as a married woman that this was an incredibly valuable lesson.

Loving my husband is only possible because of Christ's Love for me. As precious as my God-given marriage relationship is, I am never satisfied completely except through Jesus.

That significant person given to you will never satisfy you the way Jesus can.

They aren't supposed to.

Relationships in my life go so much smoother when my relationship with Jesus is being given the attention and intimacy it needs. When I am investing my time and energy into getting to know my prince, I don't look to my husband or friends for completeness.

When I do seek that love from others....they fail me.

Because they aren't able to love me the way He does.

Just as I can't perfectly love them in return.

I'm so glad now that Jesus broke my heart during those single years.

Because He pieced it back together and revealed to me my utter dependence on Him.

There is no perfect husband.

No perfect fiance.

No perfect boyfriend.

No perfect date.

Except for the one who creates them.

And he loves you.

Imagine that.

Much Love,

L 

How Do I pursue Christ in the Relationship Situation I am in?

Wow. I can't believe the wisdom and thought that has gone into these posts, I am so thankful to you four ladies for hosting and posting on a topic as important as this. It has been wonderful to hear your thoughts and hearts for this topic and to be encouraged in the process. This is what I love most about blogging.

This topic is an interesting one for me, as you probably gathered from my purity and waiting post earlier in the week (read here). The Lord cultivated my heart for encouraging others in their singleness many years ago. The joy I have in sharing my thoughts and encouragement with someone in this topic has only increased as my relationship status has changed.


In high school, when I was single, I struggled.
Then the Lord brought an interest into my life.
Then I was single again for a while. Then he brought that same guy back into my life who then pursued me and became my husband.
So all that say, I feel I have walked through many of the different relationship paths even though I am now in that (often coveted) marriage relationship. So I love to encourage other women as I have walked many paths even though they may be different from your own.


These past two years of marriage have been such an adjustment in so many areas of my life. Also with my heart for encouraging single girls. You see slowly the Lord has removed my influence in this area. But the heart for young girls and their pursuit of the Lord has not disappeared.

I think honestly it's hard to pursue Christ no matter what relationship status you currently find the Lord has you in. I think you spend a lifetime learning about and pursuing Christ, regardless of your relationship status. A lot of the ways you pursue Him will be similar regardless of your love life.


A lot of things about pursuing Christ have not changed since my single days:

• Reading my bible ~ the main way I find to learn more about who God is
• Praying (either alone or with other people)
• Fasting (I really need to do this more than I do)
• Sharing with others ~ accountability with people. Letting them in so they can speak truth into your life.
• Going to church & having fellowship with other Believers
• Listening to sermons during the week for teaching & encouragement
• Reading good christian literature
• Listening to worship music in my car ~ This makes me so much more content as I start my workday by driving and singing along with music. {Britt Nicole's album Gold has been on repeat for weeks now.}
• Just spending time with the Lord ~ While I was single, I had several 'dates' with the Lord. Where I would purposely seem to be by myself at dinner or out so that I could be with Him during those moments. Like you would spend time with someone in any other relationship. 

Other things have changed since I got married two years ago:

• Praying with the hubby ~ now something that we strive imperfectly to do together.
• Talking about or sharing sermons with my husband.
• Reading good books with my husband.
• Balance in spending time alone with God and spending time with the Lord together with the husband ~ requires a lot more balance and effort than those single days.

A lot of the struggles I dealt with while single have in fact disappeared or been resolved. But they have been replaced with different ones with marriage.

Instead of feeling lonely, I now struggle to try and prioritize spending time alone with God and trying to be purposeful in setting aside time to spend with my husband pursuing God together.

Rather than finding discontentment with not being in a relationship, engaged or married....I now find that I could easily be discontent with feeling my marriage should be better or we should have children by now. 

It has definitely been an eye-opener while being married to see that it seems the 'grass is greener' on the other side. While single I was desperate to be married and pursuing the Lord together with my husband. Often now I realize how much easier it was to pursue the Lord while single as I didn't have to do that as well as spend time together with my husband pursuing God. 

Regardless of where you find yourself in your relationship status ladies....I hope you glean wisdom from the posts of this wonderful linkup and grow in learning how to pursue Christ and trust Him with where you are at. 

As Paul said:

'I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.'

(Philippians 3:8)

Hope you have been encouraged and continue to pursue the Lord with all your heart.

Whether you are single. Dating. Engaged. Or married.

Much Love,

L