Oh for a Joy like This.

We have been back for nearly a week and my heart still can't stop thinking about these kids. I really miss them with such a burden, their joy & thankfulness to God despite how little they have! They taught me so much! Yesterday we were asked to sit on a panel in our Sunday School class and talk about our trip and the question of what did we learn from the Kenyan people came up.

The answer is overwhelming, because I am sure we learned more from them, than they did from us. Having been on trips before I knew we wouldn't be going on to accomplish amazing things that couldn't take place without us. That was not our goal or our focus, my husband and I both wanted to go knowing we were joining an organisation already very present in Kenya. Knowing the Lord was already moving among the people in the region this group is working in and we wanted to go and encourage them, witness what the Lord was doing & who knows maybe join them someday? We both feel so burdened to not live permanently in the comfort of the western world and instead to reach other people groups. Of course God is at work in our current community which we are privileged to be a part of and I don't view any of the work here as insignificant. The Lord calls people to different places to do His work and for some that means staying exactly where they are. Our hearts just burn with a passion to do His work elsewhere someday. 

But the children over in Kenya, they amaze me. They are just some of the happiest kids I have ever seen. And it broke my heart watching their everyday routine, how little they have, yet how joyful and excited they are to spend time together and with anyone who will play with them. The pace of life over there was just enjoyable, no stress over online activity or how many likes you have on social media. Just quality time with people, loving on others and enjoying late night conversations with the pastors. My heart is just full. I have no other words to describe the feeling. 

I never got to join the children for their evening devotions as our evening schedules didn't permit that to take place. If I go back, I really want to make that happen. We heard them singing praise songs late in the evenings a few times and it was incredible. 

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."

Matthew 18:2-6

It took everything in me to leave, I wish we had the option to just stay permanently right now. To take on the task of loving these little babes, who were being cared for by 2 selfless amazing women 24/7. To contribute even a little to what the Lord is doing through this ministry. It feels so uncomfortable coming home and discussing Thanksgiving dinner, knowing their are hungry children where I was just a week ago. Or Christmas knowing that they don't even have a toy to call their own while most children in America have more than they could ever possibly hope to play with. 

It feels so unbalanced yet its strange to see which of the children are probably happier. (Not all, just general observations) It's very hard not to dislike the western world after going somewhere like Kenya and coming back feeling guilty about where the Lord has currently called us to. I'm still figuring out what to do with these feelings. 
Until then, I'm praying over and yearning for these kids again.....looking forward to seeing what the Lord does with this passion we both have for them. 

Plus, watching my hubby interact with the older school kids just melted my heart. That man is incredible with them, wanting to know their stories and make them feel special even if he only has a few minutes with them. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera with me when observing those precious moments, I was too busy etching them into my permanent memory. But it is hopefully something which will occur again and again in our future together. 

//When God's Heart is becoming My Heart//

{Via}

My love for kids just continues to grow on a daily basis. I also love that I am learning so much about myself while I learn how to steer their hearts towards Him. Even through the difficult questions I don't always know how to answer, the tantrums and silly moments. I just can't help but love them for all they teach me. 


It is our Father's heart.
I remember singing a song when I was little about how Jesus loves the little children, do you know the one? All the children of the world....they are precious in His sight.  

'Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.' 

{Matthew 19:13-15 NIV}

And I so want more of the Father's heart, friends! By praying for more of His heart, I have been falling head over heels in love with so many different kids. Yes, even ones that at first glance may seem difficult to love (but aren't they just an amazing reminder of how difficult we can be to love?). 

I love how He has been working this passion into our hearts as well as giving us a heart for adoption. Both individually, then together & who knows what He will do with this. 

I love that it is our Father's heart and it is becoming ours. 

'For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.'

{Ephesians 1:4-6 NIV}

'Sing to God, sing in praise of his name,
    extol him who rides on the clouds;
    rejoice before him—his name is the Lord.
 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
    is God in his holy dwelling.
 God sets the lonely in families,
    he leads out the prisoners with singing;
    but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.'

{Psalm 68:4-6 NIV}

While we personally have yet to experience the trials & many blessings of the journey of adoption, I am inspired by the stories of several amazing ladies who have. Rejoicing with them & crying with them and seeing how beautiful these stories are.

(Katie Davis, Lauren Casper, Danielle Burkleo, Wynne Elder) 

I'm sure there are many many others out there! 
I hope to join these women & their families someday on this beautiful journey.
This picture of redemption.
The gospel lived out.

'Adoption is a redemptive response to tragedy that happens in this broken world. And every single day it is worth it, because adoption is God's heart.' 

{Katie Davis, Kisses From Katie, p.72}

What a picture of us belonging to God's family. 
It is how He himself calls us Sons and Daughters, how we are children of a king. 
What grace! And what a price He paid for us! 
We were worth that much to Him! 
I'm just overwhelmed by grace at that thought and how adoption just displays that message to me again and again, right in front of me so I can see it! 

{Via}

I love how Katie in her book Kisses From Katie mentions that God commands us to care for orphans and widows (See James 1:27). And that will not look the same for everyone, we all have our own stories to live for Him and our own ways to bring glory to the Father, but there are ways we can all obey this command. (For instance, Child Sponsorship is an incredible way to be a part of this! We have been a part of World Vision for a while. There is also the Mocha Club to get involved with for orphan projects.) 

'But someone who does not know, and then does something wrong, will be punished only lightly. When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.'

{Luke 12:48 NIV}

 'If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.'

{Matthew 10:39 NIV}

I can't wait to share more about this particular journey in future as we pray, seek God and His plan for us and ask Him for timing in how to act on our convictions.  This is a topic SO close to my heart friends! Something I am so utterly excited and passionate about.
Until then I get so much encouragement from following along with the sweet adventures of these sweet families who have opened their homes & hearts to precious little ones. 
They inspire me so much to keep praying and seeking Him with these dreams! 

This post is part of my 31 day series for the month of October, 
fighting through the fears and sharing the confusing passions I have. 
Hoping to figure out the bigger picture of all these interests.

//A Heart for Little Ones//

I can't remember when this passion actually started, I babysat for my neighbors at a really young age, taught Sunday school classes, led junior high small groups, held newborns into the night while their precious mothers managed to get a few hours of sleep. 
While my career may have changed several times, the focus of it has not. 
I have a heart for kids.
I'm SO glad my sweet hubby shares this passion. Good thing we have common passions since we get to live life together for the next 60+ years pursuing these passions together to bring glory to Him. 
There is just something so refining about spending your days with small humans who show you your own need for grace, your own shortcomings, your own curiosity and your own desire to be cared for by your heavenly father. 

If you know me, you'd only have to look through the pictures on my phone to know about this passion. It is full of pictures of the precious sweet little ones I am privileged to learn from on a daily basis. If you've been reading for a while, you'll also know that I don't put pictures of them here for privacy reasons. But oh I wish you could see my daily bundles of cuteness.


I'm so looking forward to seeing how the Lord uses this passion along with several others I'm going to share this week in the future. 


This is one passion I know isn't going anywhere....if anything, it will just continue to grow as more children work their way into my heart. 


I have talked about my role as a nanny here.
How disciplining children has taught me things here.
A trip where my love for children grew across a language barrier. 

This post is part of my 31 day series for the month of October, 
fighting through the fears and sharing the confusing passions I have. 
Hoping to figure out the bigger picture of all these interests.

Grand Total for Purpose Project & Details of the 5K Run.

Happy Friday Friends!!!

I can't believe it's already three days into May. 

April was such a crazy adventure with all the fundraising that went on here for the Mocha Club.

I am so thankful to each and every one of you who donated, tweeted and supported the project through prayer! 

Even though I did not raise the intended amount - we still raised enough to make a difference in the lives of 2 children!!! I am SO thankful! =)

Total raised: $530!!!!

So of course I will still be running my 5K to support these two kids.

The race is scheduled for May 11th and I will continue to instagram updates about my training progress leading up to the big event. 

Then on the day, you can expect more pictures and a final time about whether I beat the 26mins goal or not eeek!! =S  

Thanks again friends for all your help! 

I am hoping to get back into my regular blogging soon. April was a crazy month, I was working two jobs at one point but now am settled into my new one.

So thankful for God's provision.

(Training Sessions)

Hope you guys have had a great month! 

I want to hear your updates.

Much Love!

L

P.S. Winner of the Earring Giveaway is Chelsea Francis!!! 

Africa Part 2: Where my Heart is.

{Via} {Via}

Side note: I am raising funds for Influence through Paypal on my sidebar & through my Etsy store. 

Please prayerfully consider supporting me on this journey.

When I arrived in Africa, our group had a briefing on safety while in Kenya and Tanzania.

I remember feeling as though I wanted to turn around and go right back home to my comfortable house, AC and lack of snakes. Right there and then I was completely out of my comfort zone.

God was already at work though.

He had provided a way for me to come on this trip and blown my mind and how He had orchestrated those events. Read HERE.

So despite feeling incredibly nervous, I knew the Lord had wanted me there for some reason and felt super excited about what He was going to do while we were there.

I wrote a lot in my journal while on this trip, the first night I wrote about Psalm 121 and turning to the Lord when storms hit in life. A lot about knowing God can do impossible things after seeing Him provide a way for me to be in Africa.

I learned a lot over the next few days about relying on God and not myself in a variety of different situations.

As much as I had gone to Africa to serve God's people, I felt like it was actually me who was changed the most on this trip. 

He brought me to be a part of a bunch of work which was already going on in a village nested on the shores of Lake Victoria. 

We freshened up after arriving at our 'home' and headed off into the bush where we met the community we would be serving and spending our time with. 

My love for children has grown immensely since that trip.

I always had a joy whenever I spent time teaching Sunday school at my church or babysat for family friends. But my love and passion for children grew after I went away for college.

Looking back at the photos from this trip, I was not the one in the group who immediately felt comfortable around these kids. Honestly, I think I was afraid they wouldn't like me.

Then after we had been working on a project at a widow's home all day, we arrived back at the church in the village where all the kids were waiting for us.

I didn't need to approach them, because as soon as I smiled and tried to talk to one of them, I found myself surrounded by smiles. Children wanting to be held, hugged and even though I couldn't speak their language, they didn't mind one big.

A smile crosses every language barrier.

Before I knew what was happening, several girls had me sitting on the ground and were braiding my hair.

I can't even describe how much joy was passed between myself and these girls.

I remembering feeling at the end of our trip that I could live in that village forever, that I wanted to know those girls and those kids. To play with them and love on them. 

I never knew most of their names, but I remember them. 

After these sweet girls had braided my hair, we sat around together laughing and playing on the church steps. One of the younger girls in the group came up to me and sat in my lap.

I was so happy that she felt comfortable enough to just sit there.

Then she fell asleep.

Oh my goodness, I think my heart could not have been fuller.

I remember going to Tanzania to build a water tank for a widow in the village and to share Christ with the people there.

But now looking back, my heart is totally in the little time we spent with the children there.

I remember feeling confused that I didn't know why the Lord had called me to Africa.

I stood overlooking the beautiful scenery one day and prayed asking the Lord why I was there.

I felt less useful as a leader on that trip than I had while in India a few weeks before.

One of the leaders who runs a center in the village talked to me about this and told me that perhaps the Lord had taken me there for a specific purpose, but I wouldn't know what it was until I was older.

Now I feel he was perhaps right on.

The past month or so I have felt such a heart for Africa.

Is it even possible to feel that way about a place I have been to once?

To be praying about adopting a child from there?

To feel myself literally breaking because I want so badly to go to a country and love the children there who are hungry and dying?

I have yet to understand where this is all going...

But I'm excited.

I can't wait to see what the Lord's plans are.

'For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

{Matthew 25:42-45}

There were so many other things I could have shared with you guys about this trip.

But I focused on where my heart is currently.

With the kids I met in Tanzania.

Much Love,

L

P.S. Look out for a new African bag in my Etsy store...coming soon.