[Letters on the Power of Words: Part 2] Venting.

 

Dear Younger Version of Myself,

In light of the content of the first part of this series on the power of words,

I wanted to take a moment to look at venting. 

(If you haven’t yet read part one about being an encourager with words....read it here.)

Venting is such a funny concept. 

I feel it is one that in the past I have used as an excuse for saying exactly what I what 

about a situation or a person, 

unfiltered and totally raw left open for the other person to process and interpret. 

I am beginning to feel the Lord changing my heart on this. 

Because the way I abused it in the past was far from how He would want me to use my words.

Speech is incredibly important, 

as I discussed in the last letter. 

And as much as we should seek to encourage others with our words, 

we do also get frustrated with things in life. 

So should we bottle this up and pretent it doesn’t exsist?

Over time the Lord has been revealing to me that the answer is No. 

He always longs to hear the things on my heart, 

to hear what I am struggling with.

He knows me better than anyone else, for He made me. 

He knows my thoughts already and still chooses to love me.

 Read that again slowly....crazy isn’t it!

'You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.'

(psalm 139:1-3)

How can we discern He wants to hear what is on our heart or what we are struggling with when He already knows those thoughts? We can discern this from verses which talk about His character and those which show His interest in us.

'For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth 

to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.'

(2 Chronicles 16:9)

By praying and sharing things with the Lord, 

we involve Him in what is occurring in our everyday life. 

We invite Him to become involved. 

Prayer changes us, not God. 

We need Him, not the other way around.

'God does not change. God is a perfect God, and does not need to change.'

(Malachi 3:6)

 

When we seek Him, He changes us. 

He changes our heart and therefore we are able to graciously love others and speak kind words about others. 

Even in hard situations. 

For a few years now (yes, I have struggled to learn this concept) the Lord has been impressing in my heart that He should be the first place I go when I am frustrated or hurt or just feel the need to vent.

Also to remember that feeling a need to vent is not ungodly.

Hurt and anger are not sinful emotions.

How we then act determines whether they have lead to sin or been used to refine our character.

‘For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven....... A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.’

(Ecclesiastes 3:1,7-8)

While we are called to Him first, 

we are also commanded by the bible to live in community with others.

This involves being genuine, sharing struggles and areas of weakness. 

This is where I feel ‘venting’ comes in.

 But with it a caution to talk with the purpose of useful discussion of situations and not just complaining to other people. 

‘Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, 

you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.

 But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. 

 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.’ 

(Galatians 6:1-2)

‘Only as I depend on and trust in and fully disclose to the One who knows 

anyway will I be able to discern when I’m fine-ing someone who deserves genuine. 

We don’t have to tell everyone how we are doing.

 In fact, that would be a problem all by itself,

 trying to be intimate and vulnerable with everyone. 

But it is important that we tell someone. 

A lot of my own heartache and struggles with the fake fine mask could be overcome 

if I simple allowed myself to be honest with God and trust Him to lead me in being vulnerable with people.’

~Emily Freeman, Grace for the Good girl, p.56

Personally I totally agree it would be inappropriate, and not encouraging to others, 

if I told everyone I met when I have an issue with someone. 

When I am struggling...I feel it is totally appropriate to share what is going on with a few wise trusted friends so that we can avoid the pitfalls of pride in conflict. 

Pretending everything is fine can also give us a false sense of self-righteousness.....

we feel our side of a conflict is the correct side and don’t have anyone else to correct or show us otherwise if we never share our struggles. 

These few trusted individuals in my life have been carefully selected. 

There is no point in going to someone who will always tell me what I want to hear, 

as nice as that can be. 

The ladies currently in my life are precious!! 

They are totally invaluable at praying for me, 

correcting my attitude when necessary, encouraging me and pointing me to Jesus. 

A would also like to add that tone is important in this kind of conversation, 

as it shares whether you are complaining about someone or sharing struggles and situations for the purpose of prayer, encouragement or correction/advice. 

(You should listen to him L, he is often the one you turn to for these conversations)

I realise giving someone that kind of access to your feelings and heart is very scary. 

It has definitely meant I have had to share some ugly sin about myself with someone else. 

But it has also corrected my view of myself and weakened my pride, 

which although painful is good.

It also continues to show me that I am never without need of my Saviour.

My sin highlights my need for grace.

For that, I am thankful.

Much Love,

L

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{On My Heart} Mondays. [Confessing to Each other]

As a church we finished going through the entire book of Genesis. 

It only took just over a year =) 

I'm thankful for all the things we have been learning & whatever we look at next.

Today our pastor had the congregation spend the teaching time sharing with each other in a time of confession, prayer & praise.

This meant sharing in front of the whole church things you want others to be praying for, praises to share with the body & confessing specific sin to each other.

'Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. 

The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.'

{James 5:16}

What a humbling wonderful experience.

It was incredible how the entire section of time laid aside for this was filled with a continuous stream of people wanting to share with each other ways they were struggling and confess specific sins. Some seemingly quite big.

I am so thankful to be a part of a church body that is combating pride and openly admitting struggles.

How easy I find it to pretend that my life is ok because I don't do things as bad as others.

How easy it is for me to reduce my sin in my mind because it isn't as bad as what the person next to me is dealing with.

Today tied in well with another thing the Lord had placed on my heart a week or so ago. 

As I was reading a book in one of my favorite series, a conversation happened in which the characters were talking about a specific sin and how christians are often seen as judgemental and narrow-minded because of the way they respond to this specific sin. 

'We know that the law is good if one uses it properly. We also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine that conforms to the gospel concerning the glory of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me.'

 {1 Timothy 1:8-11}

Scripture shows us that God doesn't have something against a person commiting a specific sin. 

He hates all sin. 

We are all born with a bend toward sin. We are not perfect, none of us.

There is no sin that is bigger than any other.

Just because I didn't go and sleep around with someone doesn't mean that God dislikes the fact that I am prideful.

That I might think myself better than someone else because I don't struggle with that particular problem.

It is the same to Him. 

Such a humbling reminder for me that everyone struggles with sin.

Even those people who seem larger than life to me.

Some people's struggles happen to be more obvious and end up hurting others.

But that doesn't mean that a 'good person' doesn't struggle.

The Lord has been nudging me and showing me how I need to make much of my own sin, not think of myself as better than others because theirs seems more serious.

It is all serious.

And this is good because it helps me deal with those bad areas, with His help.

Praise Him for dying for us and making salvation possible through His son.

It is only Him in me that is good.

He loves us and knows that life is hard for us....He promises to be with us and asks us to encourage each other, confess our sin to each other and to keep fighting against whatever sin we struggle with.

While we are fighting, we are healthy.

It shows we are engaged in fighting our sinful nature.

I am so thankful that He loves each of us.

Regardless of what each of us has done in the past.

Much Love,

L

P.S. Please do not misunderstand me in assuming that good things are what makes us right with God. We can't earn our salvation. If you have questions, please email me =)

I would love to talk with you or pray with you if you have a prayer request.

[allgloriouswithinblog@gmail.com]