{On My Heart} Mondays. [Part 4: Loving Each other]

Loving each other is just so hard, isn't it?

So often we find ourselves being hurt by people who we know love us, or hurting other people without meaning to. 

We love so imperfectly, even the people who are most dear to us.

It can be so easy though to focus on ourselves in these situations, 

which in my experience can be such a huge part of the problem. 

Being married has certainly opened my eyes to a whole new side of myself which I never saw much. I never had someone living so closely with me, able to see the whole of me or the way I lived.

The little annoying habits which no-one noticed before, like leaving dirty clothes by the side of the bed when getting into it, or letting the dishes stack up until they absolutely must be done or waiting until I have no clean clothes before doing any laundry (you get the idea). 

There were so many little habits and patterns I had developed either at home or college which never affected anyone else before. 

My room was always my space.

No-one else was taken into consideration when I thought about what I did in my room.

I didn't purposefully choose to think this way, I just did it naturally.

So what happens when my room becomes our room.

I began to see how I had allowed selfishness to creep into my life in small places, 

and even justified it.

In times when I feel most frustrated at A, I usually find that its because I am distant in my relationship with God.

When I am close to God, it is so much easier to make allowances for others.

It is also easier to think less of myself and more of others when my relationship with Him is good.

Suddenly not being invited by a group of friends to go somewhere doesn't feel like such a big deal.

Because in the majority of these situations, people were not trying to be mean.

Our sinful nature is just naturally...selfish.

We don't naturally think about including others.

We don't think about how we may have hurt someone.

Ourselves is what our default mode says is important to us.

I realised recently that if I keep this in my mind when dealing with hurt from people, I find it so much easier to forgive & forget without even having to talk about it.

There is no need to deal with a conflict because I can easily overlook the offense.

This frees myself up to spend time thinking about more important things, not doing the typical girl thing and dwelling on it for hours, analysing every word of a conversation. 

(You know what I'm talking about right?)

I have been slowly learning this over the past 18 months we have been married 

(yep....18 months today!!!).

I have come across several bible verses which have been so helpful & super challenging!! 

 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.  

 Be devoted to one another in love. 

Honor one another above yourselves. 

Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. 

Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 

Live in harmony with one another. 

Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.

Do not be conceited.

 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. 

Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

{Romans 12: 9-17} 

I was reading this and feeling so convicted about honoring others above myself.

Do I really consider others to be above myself?

As well as learning to rejoice with those who are rejoicing?

Well that one is tough, Lord! 

What if someone has what we are waiting on Him for?

A relationship, recently engaged, married, expecting a precious little one.

From my own experiences, I have found that if I show I am happy for someone (even if I don't feel it right away)....my fickle heart will usually follow.

  

Then I find I am geniunely happy for them.

So friends, let us continue to aim to live by the words of Paul in Philippians when he writes:

Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, 

loving one another, 

and working together with one mind and purpose.

 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. 

Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

Don’t look out only for your own interests, 

but take an interest in others, too. 

{Philippians 2:2-4}

Here's to living life learning how to love one another genuinely! 

Much Love,

L