a heart slowly romanced.

I started making my way through a blog everyday a month challenge back in February, well you can see how well I did. Oops. I guess these days I have more time to just work through things here in this space slowly. we are in the middle of moving again after all, but that's a good thing and a whole different story. So anyway the first prompt was on your story/testimony which I wrote several years ago and thought I would share again. 

Many years ago, I sat in the pew of the church shaking a little as I listened to my summer camp group leader talk about what it meant to love Jesus. What it meant to become a ‘christian.’ I read through the little booklet in my hand and wondered what there was to question as I understood the bullet points it had.

• I believed that I had done bad things in my life
• I believed that God was perfect
• I Believed Jesus had died on the cross for me to restore relationship with God as I had done these bad things and they prevented me from being in right standing with Him
• I wanted my life to change, to live my life for Jesus instead of me

I told my leader I wanted to pray the prayer that followed as I understood and wanted to make the commitment. I tried to make it not a big deal, but I sensed there was something big happening. She prayed with me and together we signed a date. 

I was only six years old at the time.

I was so fortunate to have grown up in a Christian home. I had two parents who introduced me to Jesus very young, took me to church and youth group. They were pretty strict about the upbringing of me and my sister and showed us we were loved. I never doubted the existence of God as a child, He was real to me. Looking back, I believe that I really did understand all those bullet points in the little booklet at six years old. But I still did not understand that last one. I signed that booklet and yet continued on as though everything was the same.

It wasn't until I was thirteen and realizing how much I had tried to live life in junior high for my friends and for the acceptance of those around me, that I truly started to understand the concept of living for Jesus. 

That daily choice of choosing to do something to show His love to someone, instead of doing something because it makes me look good.

So one night during worship at youth group in a new city, with new people all around me, in a new place...this realization came to me and I signed a commitment to rededicate my life to Christ. 

To Live for Him this time instead of me. 

At first it was effort to worry less about what people thought, to walk down the halls of my high school and realize that as long as I was following Jesus, I probably would not be popular here. 

And over time that became ok. I had found something better.

The Lord gave me an incredible sense of His love and peace. He brought friends into my life who shared my love for Him, friends who encouraged me and challenged me to grow in my walk with Him. Not many of these in my school setting.

Finally after a relationship with a guy that I desperately wanted to happen didn't work out towards the end of high school, I began to truly fall in love with Jesus. I began to no longer see him as just a good friend or a father figure to rely and depend on. I began to see Him as my first love. I made a commitment in college to read through the entire Bible, and His word came alive to me during those days as I read about his faithfulness in the Old Testament and his love through the sacrifice of His son in the New Testament. Graciously I even read through the book of Numbers and came away in awe of God and His character. If you've ever read that particular book of the Bible, you’ll see how that must have been a God thing. 

The more I read about Him, the more I understood who He is. He became an incredible constant in my life, a foundation for my understanding of love. Even though once again I was surrounded by people who didn't know Him and didn't love Him, the Lord provided several people to encourage me, to challenge me....often these sweet friends were in a different geographical location to me. 

To this day, I am thankful for that challenging situation where a relationship with a guy I truly wanted, didn't work out. (At least not in my timing)

Because God had bigger plans, plans to show me how much He loved me first. Living life for Him is hard, but we don’t have to do it alone.

So friends, if I could encourage you in any way today. I would want you to know that no matter what situation you find yourself in, there is a person waiting to comfort you. He knows you and loves you so much! 

(see what he thinks of you)

Run into His arms and begin to fall in love. You won’t ever regret that decision.

Sharing Our Stories: Oh How I Love Jesus, Because He first Loved me.

Many years ago, I sat in the pew of the church shaking a little as I listened to my summer camp group leader talk about what it meant to love Jesus. What it meant to become a ‘christian.’ I read through the little booklet in my hand and wondered what there was to question as I understood the bullet points it had.

• I Believed that I had done bad things in my life
• I Believed that God was perfect
• I Believed Jesus had died on the cross for me to restore relationship with God as I had done these bad things
• I wanted my life to change, to live my life for Jesus instead of me

I told my leader I wanted to pray the prayer that followed as I understood and wanted to make the commitment. I tried to make it not a big deal, but I sensed there was something big happening. She prayed with me and together we signed a date. 

I was only six years old at the time.

I was so fortunate to have grown up in a Christian home. I had two parents who introduced me to Jesus, took me to church and youth group. They were pretty strict about the upbringing of me and my sister and showed us we were loved. I never doubted the existence of God as a child, He was real to me. Looking back, I believe that I really did understand all those bullet points in the little booklet at six years old. But I still did not understand that last one. I signed that booklet and yet continued on as though everything was the same.

It wasn't until I was thirteen and realising how much I had tried to live life in junior high for my friends and for the acceptance of those around me, that I truly started to understand the concept of living for Jesus. 

That daily choice of choosing to do something to show His love to someone, instead of doing something because it makes me look good.

So one night during worship at youth group in a new city, with new people all around me, in a new place...this realisation came to me and I signed a commitment to rededicate my life to Christ. 

To Live for Him this time instead of me. 

At first it was effort to worry less about what people thought, to walk down the halls of my school and realize that as long as I was following Jesus, I probably would not be popular here. 

And over time that became ok. 

The Lord gave me an incredible sense of His love and peace. He brought friends into my life who shared my love for Him, friends who encouraged me and challenged me to grow in my walk with Him. Not many of these in my school setting.

Finally after a relationship with a guy that I desperately wanted to happen didn't work out towards the end of high school, I began to truly fall in love with Jesus. I began to no longer see him as just a good friend or a father figure to rely and depend on. I began to see Him as my first love. I made a commitment in college to read through the entire Bible, and His word came alive to me during those days as I read about his faithfulness in the Old Testament and his love through the sacrifice of His son in the New Testament. Graciously I even read through the book of Numbers and came away in awe of God and His character. If you've ever read Numbers, you’ll see how that must have been a God thing. 

The more I read about Him, the more I understood who He was. He became an incredible constant in my life, a foundation for my understanding of love. Even though once again I was surrounded by people who didn't know Him and didn't love Him, the Lord provided several people to encourage me, to challenge me....often these sweet friends were in a different geographical location to me. 

To this day, I am thankful for that challenging situation where a relationship with a guy I truly wanted, didn't work out. (At least not in my timing)

Because God had bigger plans, plans to show me how much He loved me first. Living life for Him is hard, but we don’t have to do it alone.

So friends, if I could encourage you in any way today. I would want you to know that no matter what situation you find yourself in, there is a person waiting to comfort you. He knows you and loves you so much! (see what he thinks of you)

Run into His arms and begin to fall in love. You won’t ever regret that decision.

Much Love,

L

(This post was first shared on a sweet friend's blog)

Telling our Stories.

{Via} (edited by me)

My heart breaks as I watch the opening scenes. An unwanted child, the image of him crying himself to sleep after overhearing yet another family doesn't want him in their home. Seeing him wander the streets alone at night. Finding it unbearable that his idea of a good evening is finding a woman leaving her laundry unattended at the launderette so he can have clean clothes the following day. 

I rejoice in seeing a women obediently open her home after seeing a teenager in need. I laugh at how he forms friendships with their children and shares jokes with the family. 

I feel deeply the story, with all its ups, successes and cry with the sadder parts. It moves me, provokes me to think about the struggles of inner city kids, possibly even going on but a mile from my own home. 

We watched the Blind Side. 

I couldn't help but recognize how the Lord must have been beautifully wrecking the lives of this family. How their story came from obedience to what the Lord was leading.

How they could have just ignored that small nudge and minded their own business, leaving a teenager's well-being to someone else. 

How they would have missed out on so much if they had. 

I wonder how many people have been touched by this one family's story, how God has spoken to people through their example. 

This is why we tell our stories. Our testimonies.

We share how God is at work in us, what He is breaking our hearts for and how we are struggling through this process of having our hearts broken. Through our struggles and victories as we do life together, we see a picture of redemption and grace when we seek after Jesus.

We see Him in the mess of our lives. In the mess of the lives of others. 

Most of the story which inspired the Blind Side movie probably felt like a mess to the family that walked through those trials and victories. The challenges they faced probably felt like mountains at times. 

Yet they didn't keep quiet about it all.

They shared their story, how God was at work in their family, and I am sure He is using it. 

Each of us has a story, because each of us has God at work in our individual situations. Through broken relationships, marriages, parenting, struggling with singleness, struggling with eating-disorders. Our own individual situation, our own mess. 

And we each have a choice. We can choose to be vulnerable, to live in community with others and share how God is at work in the mess. Or we can be silent. 

It is totally scary to put ourselves out there and share our stories. Often there will be people who criticize us for doing it. 

But lets keep shining for Him. Lets not keep silent about how He is at work. 

Because that is how He can use us to touch lives. 

This sweet spirit is so inspiring to me in sharing how God is at work and still protecting sacredness within her family. She continually says she is just sharing her story. 

And God continually uses it to touch others. How you can see Jesus at work in her family. It is beautiful. 

I may even share more of my own story later this week. 

What do you guys think?

Much Love,

L