Growing Up a Big Sister.

I read the most beautiful post this morning, and I know thousands of ladies can relate to sweet Casey & the Lord has greatly blessed her with an ability to share words that speak into so many lives. I was so blessed to meet her at Influence about 18 months ago when I shamelessly asked her if she would be my big sister haha, and am SO excited about seeing her again in about 10 days at Hope Spoken!! I wish I had been a younger sister to a beautiful woman like her!


Its funny hearing her talk about what it was like growing up, how deeply she felt things. I was thrown back into my own flood of memories of what it was like to play when I was young, I was an oldest child. I didn't have a big sister to look up to and get excited about doing everything she was doing. I was the big sister. And a lot of times that was scary. I was terrified about growing up so much of the time. I didn't know how to participate in conversations about shaving legs, I was blessed with blonde hairs that still don't really show if I forget to shave. (Praising God for that one!) But I never had a desire to shave or wear a bra until I heard comments from girls in the locker room. Perhaps I was young for my age and naive. But I'm ok with that now. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to grow up too fast.


I was so scared to tell my mom when a certain guy caught my eye when I was 16. I didn't want to be growing up yet I really felt drawn to his character. I was terrified about life changing from being at home with my parents and sister. Of being vulnerable around a guy. 


I played with barbies until I was around 15. I was a dreamer, I loved imagining stories for them. Of playing out their family drama and how it would all work out in the end. And since I never wanted any of them to feel left out, my families often had about 10 children so that none of the dolls would feel left out.  


I'm the girl who grew up watching Disney movies. A sucker for romance and happy endings. I love seeing people happy and really love being a part of putting a smile on someones face. 


I feel things too deeply sometimes, I cry in books and movies, feeling so attached to the characters as if they were my friends or family. I'm trying to see this feeling deeply thing as a blessing. It has given me the ability to be there for people. To empathize with them and really care about them. But it also means that I can get hurt easily. I'm trying to be thankful for this characteristic in my life and really use it in a way that brings Him glory. While also relying on Him for strength and my worth & value. 


I'm so thankful looking back on all these things that the Lord has walked me through so many of them. How He is in the process of changing me and helping me see these things can be positive. They don't have to be negative. I was just looking back on some of the journey He walked me through in my life and was floored with thankfulness and super excited to see where He may take me in the future. 


And all of that from a few thoughts shared by an incredible woman I look up to. Isn't it amazing how the Lord uses random things to draw us to Him.