I am a list person.
I like to write things down so they won't be forgotten.
I stay up late to list the things that need doing the next day.
Then I have the immense satisfaction of being able to cross out tasks as I accomplish them.
It brings me great feelings of achievement.
I have even been known to add things done prior to writing my 'to-do' list, just so I can cross them off already.
Yeah, I'm one of those.
Whenever I have a 'day off' or 'day when I don't officially work' I like to write lists so I feel I accomplished something with my day.
The problem with my list days is that I find I'm pretty clingy when interruptions try and take away what I planned to do that day.
See having the list usually leaves no room in my day for doing things on God's timing.
For seeing people and interactions through His eyes.
I'm all about trying to maximize my precious free-time to get as much done as possible during my 'day-off.'
Sometimes I have even managed to be so into a task on my list, that I feel needs doing, that I have not answered my phone because I felt I was too busy.
This kind of thinking has been leaving no time in my precious days to accomplish the Lord's plan for my day.
(Don't get me wrong, I totally think there is a time and place for my lists. A lot of time the tasks on them are honoring to the Lord. But I hold to my own plan of how my time should look too tightly.)
For instance, instead of feeling the bathroom had to be scrubbed from floor to ceiling because the mess was becoming embarrassing (or just driving me crazy), I could have done something more meaningful. I could have perhaps taken a call from a sweet friend who needed to talk about something and encouraged her in her walk with the Lord.
There is nothing wrong with keeping a clean house, in fact I feel it is a very good thing.
But perhaps not to the point where that task is interfering with more important things.
Lately, I've been even more demotivated than when I started after a 'List day,' as I climb into bed exhausted from the number of tasks I tried to accomplish in my 'rest day.' I may have written five items on a list that morning and only accomplished two because life got in the way a little.
a friend called to have lunch.
my parents called from across the world to say hi.
I received an urgent email that needed replying to.
I realized I forgot to pay the heat bill.
Then I was on my computer already so I checked my email.
Interruptions are a part of life.
I'm trying to learn that before we have kids too. Because as I have heard & learned from some experiences it will only get harder to try and get some things done.
As I was reading a section similar to this topic in Grace for the Good girl by Emily Freeman, I came across this:
'To accept the lovely, the messy, and the unexpected things in our days, knowing that God sees them and has an eternal perspective, is to say with confidence I receive your timing. I accept that you know so I don't have to. Even when it all goes wrong.'
I'm learning that in this rapid-paced, always-in-a-hurry culture that I have adopted some of its tendencies to feel the need to be on the go all the time.
It's no wonder I feel tired a lot.
I'm (trying) to learn that it's honestly ok when (often what seems to me) like an essential task gets put off for a few days, like cleaning the bathroom.
I hope I will learn to have an eternal perspective someday where I will regularly take time out of the busyness of emails, social media and just lie in the grass staring at the stars praying. Knowing that this is a far better way to spend a free hour.
Learn to do what matters most.
Time with the Lord matters most.
Writing tomorrow's blog post is less important.
Relationships matter most.
A clean bathroom is less important.
Learn to see that sometimes good things get in the way of great things.
God's timing is a much better pace for my life.
Even if at first it feels weird & uncomfortable.
I hope someday I get to the place where I can wake up on a 'day off' and start the day without a schedule by saying 'Lord, show me what you want me to do today.'
Wouldn't that be an exciting adventure? Who knows where He might lead.
earrings: charlotte russe
dress: target
shoes: payless
Much Love,
A recovering List-addict
