Word of the Year. [Trust]

Well my theme here has been crickets chirping as life has been too full and busy to allow time for blogging and other things. 
Since Aria has been born I have been home recovering & getting used to lack of sleep of course, giving me some extra time while she naps during the day (now she's a little bigger anyway). 
I realized its that time of the year again when everyone reflects back on the year, the Lord's faithfulness and some people even select a word for the year as a theme.


I never actually shared my word for 2015, I just never got around to it. We had a lot of heartache going on this time last year and truthfully I fell into a grieving process that lasted a few months after having a chemical pregnancy last December. I couldn't write during that time, couldn't put into words all that I was feeling. 
It's a strange thing miscarriage, and everyone responds differently. Especially chemical pregnancies, but believing what I do about life and when it begins (at conception) that child was as much a child as if I had been full term in a pregnancy to me. I experienced every emotion you can expect to feel as that was going on and didn't have the heart to share while I was walking through it. There were many tears, anger at what was happening, disbelief and then acceptance as I know someday I will meet that sweet baby in glory someday. 
I spent a lot of time praying and felt extremely sad that we never knew the gender, the Lord impressed on my heart during those long sessions of tears and prayer that it was a boy I would see in heaven someday. That gave me His peace and comfort in a lot of way, even though of course here on earth I will never know the confirmation of that truth. We never picked a name, although I know for some women that also brings comfort in naming those sweet babies. For us, it was just 'peanut' and to this day I think of that sweet baby when I hear that name. 


In all that, I never shared the word He impressed on my heart for 2015. Which was trust.
Learning to surrender a lot of things to Him. Its been a whirlwind this year and full of lessons of trust, the first few months surrendering the timing of our family to Him. Trusting that His timing was perfect, even if I was more than ready and done waiting to have a child in my arms after nearly five years of marriage. 
There were health scares, relational problems and then in March after I was distracted and finally no longer focused on having a positive pregnancy test, there it was. Two pink little lines staring at me right in the face. I cried tears of joy and immediately texted Andrew at work. 
I tested every single day for about two weeks to make sure that pink line stayed strong, my poor hubby was extremely patient with me & I'm so thankful for dollar store pregnancy tests. I was still learning how to trust Him. I am still learning.

Then around thirteen weeks pregnant, we were due to fly out to California for a dear friend's wedding. The night before I started bleeding. And once again it was a lesson in trust. I was so scared as we drove to the ER and begged the Lord to spare this child and cried out that my heart couldn't do this again, couldn't loose another baby. I know so many women experience the loss of child after child, and I'm not sure how they find the courage to stay brave and keep trusting. But after we got there I felt peace. The reassurance that no matter what, He was in control and no matter the outcome, He was still good.
By His grace, my little one stayed safely in my womb and I had the precious birthday gift (it was also my birthday and mother's day) of seeing that little one bouncing around like crazy during an emergency ultrasound. There was absolutely nothing wrong and determined that I was only bleeding a little from a burst blood vessel in my cervix. Nothing life-threatening to my child. But still an exercise of trust. Of the Lord saying, will you trust me to choose what is best for you? No matter what that looks like. 
Reluctantly, my heart began to bend and say Yes Lord, I will trust you with this baby! 

It was nerve-racking the next few months and slowly my heart learned to trust Him with the pregnancy. Trust that He was good, that He would protect my little one as He saw fit and trust that He was in control and not me. Then after sweet little Aria arrived I had another huge test. 
Delivery itself was a huge gift and a great experience. I couldn't have asked for better care or for a smoother experience. A true moment of grace from Him. Then I started to develop postnatal anxiety and my world flipped on its axis. It was like a bad dream and an out of body experience, sleep deprivation is no joke when your hormones are out of wack and your body just isn't doing what you want it to do/what its supposed to do. 
Once again though, my heart had tried to control things I couldn't. I wanted to protect my little girl from everything and obviously I don't have the ability to do so. It manifested itself in postnatal anxiety and obsessive compulsive thoughts. Possibly one of the scariest experiences of my life, I was hospitalized for a while. But He provided, through mentors/counselors/sweet medical students who shared scripture with me in those dark moments. And I am now a firm believer that medication has its place for treating some chemical imbalances. Praise Him that He is slowly bringing me out of that dark dark place. If you have postnatal depression/anxiety, my heart really goes out to you for it is extremely scary and can feel so isolating. Know that you are not alone, and talk about it! Tell someone what is going on, it is the only way to fight for freedom from it and experience His rescue. My heart hurts for those women. 


Only God can control things & I had made an idol out of control. So He took several things out of my control and showed me where He needed to be in my life once again. It's a new lesson and one I am still wrestling with.  
I had wanted to breastfeed, but through my own need for medication I could no longer do so safely while in the hospital. I freaked out about financially affording formula, and once again it was a lesson of trust. I felt so silly after freaking out about that decision and seeing person after person show up with a container of formula for my little girl. Provision. A whisper from Him of See how I can provide, just trust me. We have yet to purchase any formula ourselves and there is easily several months worth on top of my fridge. 
Everytime I have freaked out about some transition that has happened, He has slowly showed me that He can absolutely be trusted. That He is good and that by fighting Him for control, I just make it harder for myself. It is not the way to live freely or fully for Him. 
And I desperately want to model for my daughter how to live freely and fully. To have a heart surrendered to Him, to live life to the full to bring Him glory and nothing else. That she would turn to Him at a young age. And that requires us modelling it for her. That requires my own continued sanctification. 


So all this to say, my word for 2016 is going to stay the same. 
Trust.


It's a lesson I still need. To keep staying surrendered to His roller-coaster for my life. 
To trust that the ups and downs are there to mold me and to bring Him glory. 

//Aria Evelyn//

Sorry for being quiet over here in this little space. 

Things have been anything but quiet in our little home as this little lady made her arrival the day before her due date. 

On November 19th we welcomed our sweet little girl into the world.

At 8lbs 2oz we are in love. (Although shes closer to 10lbs now and over a month old - oops!)

She was 20.5 inches long & has the most kissable chubby cheeks you've ever seen! 

Not sure if this space will go private again honestly and just become a space for me to update family. We haven't fully figured out what to do with sharing pictures of her. 

It's been a little bit of a rough transition as I was diagnosed with postnatal anxiety a few weeks after she was born. But with lots of support from family and friends things are slowly improving.

We would appreciate your prayers though as we recover & adjust to being a family of 3.

Much Love,

Lisa

Third Trimester Bump Progress

Well....I keep thinking I should update this so that I get in the rest of the bump pictures before little girl chooses to make her arrival. So far there's been tons of contractions, some even getting pretty intense and coming every 2-3 mins....only to have everything stop a few hours later. So she's keeping us guessing as to when her birthday is going to be. Till then we are just keeping on with things and trying to keep busy. So who knows....hopefully we will have some exciting news soon. In the meantime, enjoy some third trimester growth updates.

Can't believe my due date is already next week......where did the time go? Well that and I also feel like I've been pregnant forever haha! 
I should probably flip some of these photos so they are all facing the same way! oops! 

Much Love! 

The Dandelion Field By Kathryn Springer

Well I'm pretty sure even the crickets have stopped chirping in this little space since its been such a long time since I posted anything regularly. However even when in the throws of first trimester pregnancy, I was still reading and reviewing books. I just never got around to posting about them. 
This was one book I read back in the Spring and am finally writing the review for.


I haven't done many reviews on fiction lately, I went through a stretch of several not-so-enjoyable fiction stories and have been drawn to non-fiction a lot lately. However this one was actually a really cute story. I loved the message of redemption weaved throughout the story. The book follows Raine and her mother, Gin. Who have moved around a lot because of Gin's longterm insecurities after a wild past. The reader comes in after they have chosen to settle in a small town for Raine's senior year of high school, and Raine has been in a relationship with a godly young man from the church's youth group who she makes a mistake with and finds herself pregnant. 


Its a great reminder that none of us is ever good enough to earn our own redemption and that even people with the best upbringing and best of intentions can find themselves deep in sin and its consequences. Also a reminder that no matter how far we have strayed from God's ways and His plan for our lives, He is always ready to welcome us if we genuinely return to Him. 


I loved that there was depth to both stories, between Raine and her boyfriend as well as Gin and a local firefighter who gently pursues her and shows her what grace and redemption look like. 


I really enjoyed this story and would recommend it for a wholesome light read with a great reminder of grace. 

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book in exchange for a review from BookLookBloggers, however all views expressed are entirely my own thoughts and opinions 

For the Love By Jen Hatmaker

Having read bits and pieces of Jen's blog, I was exciting about reviewing this particular book. My instagram was definitely filled with various ladies enjoying it & so I was extremely excited when I saw it listed for review. 

This was definitely a fun, easy read. She had me laughing in many places & also ready to try the few receipes she included throughout. I did enjoy seeing the author's heart behind the message she was trying to put across. My biggest complaint with the book however is I didn't really feel that it focused on comparison or fighting for grace at all. A few chapters in it began to feel like a series of essays or blog post entries thrown together into a book. While still very enjoyable and amusing to read, I don't really feel the title was appropriate as this was not the focus of the book. There is also practically no mention of scripture references or discussion of grace in general in the book which felt a little misleading based on the title. 

I would still say it is a fun read and thought the author had a great personality. But perhaps a different title would have been more appropriate for the book?

Have you read any great books lately? 

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book in exchange for a review from BookLookBloggers, however all views expressed are entirely my own thoughts and opinions 

Second-Trimester Bump Progress

Well I seem to be great at posting these when entering the following trimester, oh well better late than never right? I also want to be able to look back on these and see the progress clearly. Seems hard to believe in just a few short months I will be full term!?!?! When did that happen?? 

The Second trimester was definitely much easier in so many ways compared to the first. The energy burst was super helpful at getting the nursery decorated, buying baby clothes & working in general. Only frustrating part has been the painful stretching while the bump has grown - nothing a little lotion couldn't help with :) 

Food cravings: ice cream & mexican

Well to those who requested pictures, enjoy! 

Thanks to my sweet sis for the awesome maternity dress!

Hannah very kindly did some gender reveal pictures for us around this time!

See them here.

Best tip ever: these are rocking my world as they support the ever-growing bump. 

More soon on the bump progress! Unless she arrives before I get a chance to update here.

Much Love!

Make It Happen By Lara Casey

I was curious to read Lara's book since hearing the incredible responses from her talk at the Influence Conference several years ago. A lot of amazing tweets and quotes came from that session, so when I was given the opportunity to review her book, I couldn't resist.

I learned a lot more about Lara from reading this book than I had seen through just glimpses of her life on Instagram, she has a great story with a lot of examples of trusting God with your circumstances. While she did have some great things to say, I will admit that I expected more to this book than was perhaps there. It is pretty much just her story with some wisdom interspersed so it does make for an easy read. 

I did like that there were journaling questions throughout, and while I did not complete them at this time, I do wonder if perhaps I would have got more from the book by completing them. I guess my other main criticism was that being a christian author, I had expected there to be more of a scripture focus. It is obviously written from a christian perspective in places, but still reads very much like a self-help book which just isn't really my thing. 

I still think it is perhaps worth the read for the encouragement and wisdom throughout anyway. But I can't say it is on my top list of books ever read. 

What have you guys been reading lately? 

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book in exchange for a review from BookLookBloggers, however all views expressed are entirely my own thoughts and opinions 

First-Trimester Bump Progress.

So it is likely that I will find time to head back here periodically and share pregnancy-related news for a while, then perhaps it will become a place to keep in contact with family & friends as our little girls arrives and grows. Not sure how frequently this will happen, although I do hope to try and make it a regular occurrence. I share that sort of as a disclaimer as I don't want writing here to become an interference with living life so if that starts to happen, you will see me here less again. (Although hopefully not with a 6 month+ break like last time)

A couple of people have asked for bump updates, and even though I've irregularly kept track with an app on my phone, I haven't shared many on Facebook for example. (I'm back and forth on the security of the site due to the ever-changing terms and conditions) So for now I think it's fine to share more here in this little space, but I do reserve the right to change my mind :) 

The day I found out. Andrew was actually at work, I had been feeling off all weekend & I had previously taken a test which was negative, but after the 'stomach bug' was lingering on Monday, I opted to take another test in the middle of the day. Not really sure why, well I found my little 'stomach bug.' So I texted Andrew at work to tell him. 

Most of the rest of the first trimester seems like a fog. Morning sickness hit pretty hard around 5-6 weeks, so other than working and then coming home and sleeping I really didn't do much else. It improved some around 11ish weeks but stuck around occasionally until recently (maybe even until 20 weeks). 

So here's the progress, I wasn't super regular with pictures since there really wasn't much to see in the first trimester. I have been a little more regular in the second since you can actually see the change. (sorry for the quality, most of these were my phone) 

(I promise our bed does actually get made....as much as these pictures would suggest otherwise)

That pretty much wraps up the first trimester, at the end we got to head to LA for a sweet friend's wedding which was beautiful!! I was so thankful we were able to go!! :) 

More bump progress coming soon! Much Love! 

We've been keeping a secret......It's a......

Sorry I've been so absent. There's been a bunch going on haha!

Hopefully more to come soon.....

Veil of Secrets By Shannon Ethridge

I hoped when I chose this book, that it would hold some great marriage advice and be a great story about reconciliation for two people ready to divorce one another. Meet Melanie and Will Connors who are struggling in their marriage while involved in an election campaign. I will admit, I really struggled with this story, there were so many main characters that I struggled to connect with any of them. They all seemed to be lacking in any depth. 

It seemed to me as though the author tried to involve too many hot topics in this novel. Politics, marriage problems, counselling, abuse, unplanned pregnancy, family pressure. While I felt that it read easily, I just never found myself understanding several plots in the story. The politics felt hard to follow, although I haven't had much of an interesting in politics ever in my life, so that could have been it. Then there was an element of terrorism from an extremist group that never seemed to be resolved in the story. There were several instances of hacking and shootings, but I don't actually remember how that supposedly ended. 

I really liked what the author set out to do in exploring how the past affects marriage in the present, but felt as though it could have been more focused on that one issue instead of getting too complex overall. Maybe I will have to try one of her other books, as I really did enjoy her style. 

I would recommend it for readers who have an interest in politics perhaps. Maybe with that interest, it would have made more sense and been easier to keep the characters straight. 

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book in exchange for a review from BookLookBloggers, however all views expressed are entirely my own thoughts and opinions 

10 Books From 2014.

While I may not have kept up with writing exciting posts all throughout the year, one thing I did enjoy and manage to do on a monthly basis, was review several great books. Some I really loved and will hopefully read again, others just weren't my thing. Here's a recap from the year.

Victim of Grace By Robin Jones Gunn 

At first, I wasn't sure I entirely liked this book. Initially it just didn't hold my attention, then about halfway through I really started to understand where Robin Gunn was coming from. The second half I probably read in the space of a few days. That may have been my own fault in taking so long to read the first half, which made it hard to follow. Or just was my opinion of the content of the book. It felt slow to get going, but then once you got to the meat she had some great things to say....[Read More]

Love & Respect in the Family By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

I loved it, honestly. Dr. Eggerichs talked again about the love and respect principle and how it relates in a parent child relationship this time. He uses biblical wisdom and scripture to tackle common problems within the family unit and how children and parents can get into a crazy cycle where no-one feels loved or respected. It was very practical and approached a whole range of topics including discipline, encouragement, supplication, giving, understanding and instructing. I know it is going to be a great resource for years to come for me personally....[Read More]

P.S. He Loves You By Erin James

....It has brought me into a beautiful season of seeking my precious prince & I have enjoyed just sitting in His presence understanding how much He thinks of me, how huge is love is for me, while reading her precious thoughts and meditating on the scriptures she shared. It reads like letters from her directly to you friend, you will honestly believe they are personally written for you. 

And I really think you should check it out.

You really won't regret it....[Read More]

The Queen's Handmaid By Tracey L. Higley

Tracy L. Higley writes about an orphan girl named Lydia, following her journey as a servant to Cleopatra then later to Herod. She also slowly uncovers her heritage and where she came from as we see her mentor, Samuel, pass along several scrolls into her possession with the intention of placing them into the rightful hands of a man on the Jerusalem temple steps who awaits them annually....[Read More]

Passion By Louie Giglio & Others

The book is a collection of talks from the conference itself over the years, and is a great encouragement giving so much food for thought. I will probably come back and read parts of this book again just to glean more wisdom from the pages. Due to the different authors within the book, some of the talks are heavier and harder to read than others, but all of them had really good things to say and will encourage you not to grow complacent in your faith and purpose here on earth....[Read More]

The Nesting Place By Myquillyn Smith

This book couldn't have come to me for review at a more perfect time. I downloaded it two days before we were due to pack our current apartment into boxes, and finished it before we physically moved everything. It was that good! I know I will be reading it again! Myquillyn drew me in from the first page with her hilarious stories, helpful tips and motivation to try new things that I will probably love. 

The next thing is that I get to put it all into practice, having moved immediately after I felt like I was handed a blank canvas and given tips and resources to go with it. The hubby and I laughed hard over her story of spilling fresh paint on the floor of the rental (ok I may have cringed a little too knowing the horror I would feel if it were me). The pictures in the book of her beautiful home encouraged me and inspired me to try things I've never tried before. (I can't wait to look into have a canvas with all the streets we've lived on since being married) 

It felt like a big sister slightly further ahead of me, in a similar journey of moving every 12 months, giving me the permission I needed in the area of decorating our home.....[Read More]

The Family of Jesus By Karen Kingsbury

This book is a historical biblical fiction account of the family members of Jesus. It gives fictional (but biblically accurate) accounts from the perspectives of Joseph, Zechariah, John the Baptist, Elizabeth, James and Mary. With bible study sections for each to look further into the biblical context and implications. 

I really appreciated Karen Kingsbury's careful way of sticking to biblical truth and her explanation of how she went about her construction of the stories. Inserting biblical truth first, then researching culture to ensure accuracy then lastly filling gaps with fiction. Obviously the most accurate accounts are those found in the bible itself, but I loved seeing it come to life through stories in the Family of Jesus as Karen Kingsbury has certainly been gifted with story-telling....[Read More]

Sarah's Choice By Rebecca St. James

Meet Sarah Collins, a beautiful successful 20-something who is about to get a promotion at work that she has worked hard for. She finds herself hoping to replace a woman who is leaving on maternity leave at first, but probably not returning at all. Especially if corporate has anything to say about it. 

Then Sarah discovers she herself is expecting. Then she begins to question everything; her boyfriends ability to stand by her and support a baby, whether she even wants him to be in the picture, her past and her issues with the Lord following the death of her father.  She finds herself with more choices than she knows how to answer all in a very short period of time.....[Read More]

Let's All Be Brave By Annie Downs

I loved the encouragement in this book, it reads very much like a big sister trying to encourage you to live your life the way the Lord wants you to. Encouragement to not stay with comfort when He is calling you to leap out of faith, her stories are full of scripture and truth guiding her decisions. 

There are many stories of her own showing her own personal journey from wanting to stay where she was comfortable and felt safe, moving towards ministry she felt called to. It was a great light read and I finished it very quickly. It really did feel like a coffee date with a friend, mentor or big sister.....[Read More]

Just Rise Up: A Call to Make Jesus Famous (InScribed Collection)

The study is based on Psalm 145 and calls us to consider whether or not God is actually the main priority in our lives, as He should be. Sarah breaks the study into five Chapters (topics) with five readings in each chapter. Ideally one reading per day with a place for journaling as you read, as well as questions to ask yourself encouraging you to think and dig deeper on the topics. 

The first section was all about living a live of praise, the study really encouraged and challenged me to begin thinking about how much I give praise to God during my daily life. Do I really acknowledge His gifts to me everyday? The Second section was on having a kingdom focus, really encouraging me to consider my daily activities and choices with an eternal focus and perspective. Section three dealt with pride and the issue of really bowing low before our king, recognizing my need for Him and His standing in my life before being able to rise up for Him. 

Section four is on our dreams and God's agenda, and lastly section five was about influence......[Read More]

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