//Comparing Our Gifts to Others//

I have some heavy thought for these final few days of figuring out the pieces, putting these passions together and seeing the big picture.


But I wanted to pause here today and just ponder the whole comparison thing.


I really feel that when we compare ourselves to others, we set ourselves up for failure. Because we can't follow someone else's expectations or even do things the same way as another person.
We simply aren't meant to.
We aren't made in the same way.


The best part about our own gifts is that they are exactly that, they are our own gifts.
To be used in a unique way to reflect His glory.

It doesn't help to think that you could never make art in a certain way simply because someone else does it better.
To think that we can't be a photographer because we can't be the best one out there.
Or to think that we can't have a heart for something or be passionate about it because we aren't the only one who is. That is totally silly!!


Stop comparing yourself to other people, I shared a quote on my instagram today:

'You and I are going to have to come to a place where we stop handing people the kind of power only God should wield over us. Change will not come easy. Old habits die hard.'

(Beth Moore, So Long Insecurity) 

Isn't this so true? I find it's so true of myself, that I let other people's opinions of me have a greater value than it really should.


I really need to stop this comparison thing, it robs the everyday of joy. 
Anyone else struggle with this? 

This post is part of my 31 day series for the month of October, 
fighting through the fears and sharing the confusing passions I have. 
Hoping to figure out the bigger picture of all these interests.

Through Green Tinted Glasses.

I sign into my Instagram account when I have a few moments in my say and see a gorgeous picture of a mommy cuddling her little one in a chair early in the morning. My heart swells with joy for this sweet friend. 

It wasn't always as easy to be happy for others for me, in fact if we go way back to Jr high we can perhaps pinpoint the beginning of my dilemma. Maybe it began even earlier. 

Walking the halls of my school doing a circuit of the Jr high hallway loop with some friends at lunchtime, yeah we thought we were so cool. We passed my current crush with a group of his friends. As we walked closer I saw he was holding hands with one of the girls with him. I was devastated. 

And immediately hated this girl. Oh the drama when you're 13 right?!?! haha. 

So anyway, time passed and I hopefully matured some. Grew up and then found myself in a relationship with my husband. We were together quite a while before getting engaged since we both lived in different countries. Then some similar feelings came flooding back when another friend of mine got engaged.

What?! But I was the one waiting patiently right? We had been praying for the Lord's leading in our relationship and trying to make wise decisions. I may not have hated this friend this time, but I totally envied her. It just didn't seem fair. 

Even once I was engaged, I then watched several friends get married in a few short months after becoming engaged. Of course, I had learned my lesson right? Wrong! 

They should WAIT THEIR TURN! I'M NEXT!!! 

Is exactly what came out of my ugly heart. 

I'm even ashamed to admit that in some of these situations, I wanted nothing to do with any of these girls once they had what I wanted. 

Big green monster anyone?

Finally once married, I watched several sweet friends getting married shortly after us. 

And know what came out of my ugly heart...but getting married was my moment. 

We are still enjoying our own wedding and honeymoon period. 

This was where I was stopped cold in my tracks.

This was ugly.

And NOT who I wanted to be.

This was not glorifying Jesus and loving others.

I wanted to be happy for my friends. To share in their joys as well as their sufferings. 

So how did I begin to battle this? Because it has been just that, a battle.

A dying to self process.

I decided shortly after that I needed to start my making my actions seem happy for the other person and trust that my heart would follow. I may not have gone around bursting with excitement for expectant mamas (although I embarrassingly do that now in a very genuine way. haha oops!) It began as a simple act, like finding out a friend was engaged & instead of saying nothing, I would send a short note to them saying congratulations! Saying how excited I was and asking how the planning was going. 

(I didn't want to be fake in my excitement, but just share their joy) 

I started practicing this everytime a friend was expecting. I would send a little gift to show I cared. Or a congratulations card. Or a quick phone call or even a short email.

I began to see a heart change in myself. Instead of making a conscious effort to do these things, it became natural.

Practicing celebrating with others then turned into a general thrill and excitement over blessings in my friends lives. 

Seeing a friend's belly swell with a little miracle and attending her baby shower, while I myself have not yet been blessed in that way. I no longer see things through green tinted glasses. I see precious little babies and am so thankful I get to share in the joy of those around me. 

Weddings now make my heart soar as I see a picture of the way Christ loves the church, instead of feeling sad that someone else is having a magical day or seeing it as better than my own wedding. 

Sometimes, it is still a challenge. 

But its also a choice.

It feels so vulnerable to share these thoughts with you guys, because they seem so ugly now I have said them out loud. Yet I share them because it is a battle I have walked through and still choose to allow Christ to help me through. Through these thoughts, I hope you see Jesus, grace and what He is capable of doing in our lives when we have a willing heart. 

Much Love,

L

P.S. Don't forget you have until midnight tonight (EST) to enter the Birthday Giveaway. 

Pearls & Tunes Vol 8.

{Via}

If I try and be honest with you, I will tell you that I hit a big low with blogging last night. 

I felt ready to forget the whole thing, to close my blog and never look back, for many reasons.

Feelings of inadequacy mainly, of not being an inspiration to others because I'm not an awesome mommy, open about marriage, great at DIY, sharing home decor tips that rock everyone's world. 

I'm never going to be that blogger who starts trends in the fashion world or has thousands of followers. 

Or even one that feels as though she fits in a lot of the time. 

Most of the time, I don't. 

I appreciate feminine mystique, of keeping things to myself at times. I'm not one to be a completely open book because I seek to encourage and uplift others. And honestly hearing people complain is never helpful to me, so I try never to do that on here.

And true enough to the quote by Theodore Roosevelt, comparing myself with others, which is what I have been doing.....has robbed me of joy.

Joy in my identity.

Joy in Christ.

Joy about the plans He has for my specific life.

Not anyone else's. 

And it hit me yesterday just how careful I need to be.

Because if I continue with a habit of comparison, I will breed something else.

Jealousy.

{via}

How easy it is to see someone else's life or even blog and think it is so much better than your own.

How easy a little bit of comparison in number of followers or fashion can lead to jealousy. 

And jealousy, is plain ugly.

Appearances are also so misleading, as I saw so clearly from the Influence Conference.

That girl that looks amazing in her sock bun, skinny jeans and chambray shirt....is probably just as insecure as you. She doesn't feel she has it all together, even though it may seem that way to you.

A lot of times we are each going through things that we don't share with others,

things that would reveal just how imperfect each of our lives are, no matter what they look like online. 

So while typing out a post that I will probably never publish about my feelings last night. 

The words to an old familiar hymn came to mind.

'Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace.'

{Words & Music: Hel­en H. Lem­mel, 1922} 

And I realised that I had lost sight of what was important.
I had taken my eyes off of my king, to look at what He had given to me and compared it to what He had given to others.

 Song Lyrics: Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, Old Hymn

And I hope it won't happen again.

But I'm thankful to have been thrown into the open waiting arms of my Savior. 

And reassured that even if I never am like anyone else.

That is ok.

Embrace being different. 

{Via}

Trust the one that has perfect plans for you!

Much Love,

L

Long Sleeved Ruffle Top: Old Navy

Layered Cami: Old Navy

Hairband: Old Navy

Skinny Jeans: Aeropostale

Boots: Old Navy

Owl Necklace: Claires

Earrings: Kassie Rew