If I try and be honest with you, I will tell you that I hit a big low with blogging last night.
I felt ready to forget the whole thing, to close my blog and never look back, for many reasons.
Feelings of inadequacy mainly, of not being an inspiration to others because I'm not an awesome mommy, open about marriage, great at DIY, sharing home decor tips that rock everyone's world.
I'm never going to be that blogger who starts trends in the fashion world or has thousands of followers.
Or even one that feels as though she fits in a lot of the time.
Most of the time, I don't.
I appreciate feminine mystique, of keeping things to myself at times. I'm not one to be a completely open book because I seek to encourage and uplift others. And honestly hearing people complain is never helpful to me, so I try never to do that on here.
And true enough to the quote by Theodore Roosevelt, comparing myself with others, which is what I have been doing.....has robbed me of joy.
Joy in my identity.
Joy in Christ.
Joy about the plans He has for my specific life.
Not anyone else's.
And it hit me yesterday just how careful I need to be.
Because if I continue with a habit of comparison, I will breed something else.
Jealousy.
How easy it is to see someone else's life or even blog and think it is so much better than your own.
How easy a little bit of comparison in number of followers or fashion can lead to jealousy.
And jealousy, is plain ugly.
Appearances are also so misleading, as I saw so clearly from the Influence Conference.
That girl that looks amazing in her sock bun, skinny jeans and chambray shirt....is probably just as insecure as you. She doesn't feel she has it all together, even though it may seem that way to you.
A lot of times we are each going through things that we don't share with others,
things that would reveal just how imperfect each of our lives are, no matter what they look like online.
So while typing out a post that I will probably never publish about my feelings last night.
The words to an old familiar hymn came to mind.
'Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.'
{Words & Music: Helen H. Lemmel, 1922}
And I realised that I had lost sight of what was important.
I had taken my eyes off of my king, to look at what He had given to me and compared it to what He had given to others.
Song Lyrics: Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, Old Hymn
And I hope it won't happen again.
But I'm thankful to have been thrown into the open waiting arms of my Savior.
And reassured that even if I never am like anyone else.
That is ok.
Embrace being different.
Trust the one that has perfect plans for you!
Much Love,
L
Long Sleeved Ruffle Top: Old Navy
Layered Cami: Old Navy
Hairband: Old Navy
Skinny Jeans: Aeropostale
Boots: Old Navy
Owl Necklace: Claires
Earrings: Kassie Rew
I really, really love this post. And I just want to say that you inspire me SO much. Inspiration to me is found by women who stand firmly in Christ, and you SO clearly do that. So thank you, for your inspiration :)
ReplyDeleteohhh sweet L...how this post resonated with me! I JUST posted about the same thing a few days ago.
ReplyDeleteComparison IS the thief of joy and I had been robbed of my joy for days because I was comparing myself with other bloggers. It can be so hard sometimes, but I have to keep reminding myself that my identify lies in Christ. HE has a plan for me, for you, and although it may not be what we envision it to be...it's what HE envisioned, which is better, ten fold!
I, for one, love your blog. Keep it up, lady! xoxo
I love this post so much. Seriously. Because I was feeling the exact same way a few days ago, ready to delete the blog & all. I did go through with deleting my twitter, but then almost didn't, since I thought, if I don't have twitter then I can't advertise my posts/get more followers/yadda yadda. But, I've decided that those who need to find my blog certainly will, with or without twitter. Comparison definitely turns into jealousy all too easily. Thank you so much for your genuineness L!
ReplyDeletexo
Thank you for this post! I've really been struggling with these exact feelings in regard to the popularity of my blog, but in the end it's up to God what will happen with it! I made it to document what He does in my life, anyway, so that's all that matters. I love your outfit, by the way; I think I actually might have that same necklace! :)
ReplyDeleteYou beautiful thing :)
ReplyDeleteJOY! is a word echoing in my soul this week (maybe for this year?) and it's so true that Christ! is our joy - our Salvation - our Reward. I have felt like throwing in the towel so many times as well... but I pray I only take action on that emotion when He wants me too. The rest of the time, I pray and rest in Him... praying you do too!
P.S. I just finished Bailey's book... oh, I need the next one! :D xo
I've been there as well. Not just with blogging, but in other areas as well. Jealousy does steal us of our joy. Thanks for the reminder to focus on Jesus, not on the things of this world!
ReplyDeleteBtw... your heart and love for Jesus SHINE in your blog. Keep serving Him with it, cuz that's what really matters. :)
ReplyDeleteYou're not the only one who struggles with this. Thanks for being honest and letting your honesty be a reminder. He loves us just the way we are. I need to drink that...moment by moment <3
ReplyDeleteLove the blog design update, love your words...love YOU.
You hit the nail on the head here! I struggle with the same thing - comparison. Weather it's Facebook, or blogging, or Pinterest, I have to really be careful because I start to compare, and I become envious and jealous and it's not a good place to be in! Thanks for sharing...you're definitely not alone in this one!!
ReplyDeleteL ~
ReplyDeleteGreat topic and one which women {IMO} especially can fall victim of. I read a book last year, Divine Contentment, which really was an encouragment{and rebuke} on being discontent...which robs joy. And doesn't comparison breed discontentment, too? I love your reminder to keep our eyes on our Heavenly Father and not others. Our joy is vertical...not horizontal.
Blessings & be JOY-filled ~
Thanks for the post on this, you're so right and it's always a struggle, I can always use the reminder!
ReplyDeleteGirl I totally know how you feel! I feel so left out sometimes!! But then I remember that I'm blogging for me, its more of a journal type thing! (: Cute blog! Found you form the weekend blog hop!!
ReplyDeletehttp://pinterest.com/pin/121737996149157284/
Sorry, I did not mean to put that pinterest link in!! W-O-W! (:
ReplyDeleteGreat post and great reminder. I struggle with this ALL the time and what you said gives me a new perspective!
ReplyDeleteIt is so, so easy to compare ourselves to others. I struggle with this in my blogging, in my music. I often feel inadequate, like I will never measure up to what others are doing. It's hard for me to remember that that's not what counts. I don't have to "measure up", because this isn't about comparisons. He has created each and every one of us for a unique and beautiful purpose. I'm sure your words are used to uplift and inspire many - I know your honesty means a lot to me. Thank you for sharing all of this.
ReplyDeleteYou are so brave to share this struggle. You are right, of course, everyone struggles with jealously and insecurities. It's when we are honest about our insecurities that God can use us. He's using you. I can tell! (first time visitor from Desire to Inspire.) xo, ab
ReplyDeleteOh this is such a beautiful post! So encouraging and uplifting and so true! I went through a period (okay two times I did) where it took heartache to help me realize my true identity in Christ. And it was so liberating!
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up to D2I!